CBWR? Chapter 28

Hello again! *wave* I may try to do another chapter tonight - we'll see. I do have to head back to work here at 9:00 though... sigh

Enjoy a little E&B; time! There will be more of that to come.

Thanks again for sticking with me on this one!

Oh wait…I guess I could ask.

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Chapter 28

By the time everyone else had left, it was already past midnight. Bella looked wiped out, which is how I felt. I suggested going to bed, and as we walked from the great room to the hallway together, Bella hesitated as she looked to the door of her room, and then down to the floor.

"Bella?" I asked. "Do you…want to stay with me?"

She continued to look at the floor, and for a minute I thought she was going to start crying again, but she didn't. She just nodded, so I held the door to my room open for her.

It was about that time I realized I still didn't have any more fucking clothes for her.

"Shit," I mumbled, and Bella looked up to me with her brow furrowed as I griped about being an idiot. I rifled through a couple of dresser drawers and came up with a pair of boxers and a t-shirt for her. She smiled and took them from me before heading into the bathroom to change.

I was so fucking useless when it came to the most basic shit. Jasper was right – it was no wonder I couldn't keep a girlfriend for more than a month. I just didn't think about that kind of shit. I never had. I would go all day without eating just because I got wrapped up in whatever else I was doing and forgot about it. Then I'd realize my stomach was growling, look up and figure out the whole day had gone by. I would run out of shaving cream but totally forget to pick any more up at the store for a week, too. I would have hired someone to take care of that kind of shit, but there just weren't too many people I trusted, and I didn't want anyone with a key to my place.

Obviously, it wasn't just myself I couldn't take care of.

I changed into a T-shirt and pajama pants and climbed into bed, still propped up on the pillows and not really lying down. I was really exhausted, but my mind was flying by at a mile a minute. The details of our plan, wondering what to do about clothing for Bella, and some of the shit Jasper had said to me was all trying to compete for attention in my head.

Bella came out of the bathroom, and damn if seeing her in my clothes wasn't seriously hot. I don't know why – I'd never had a woman wearing my clothes before – but something about it just made my heart start to pound. She was looking at the floor again, and didn't make any eye contact with me as she slowly lowered herself to the other side of the bed. She laid down on her back, and had to scoot herself up onto the pillow when she apparently remembered she could use it.

That shit still pissed me off.

"Thank you," Bella said quietly while she fidgeted with her fingers. "You know – for letting me stay here."

"I don't mind," I said. I almost opened up my mouth to make a crack about how I bought her just so she would have to be in my bed, but managed to stifle myself before it escaped. I was not a complete idiot. Well, at least I could learn. Sometimes.

Bella wrapped her arms around herself and lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Now that I had a better idea of what was contained in her dreams, I was not surprised she didn't want to be alone. I was surprised she wanted to be near me. I was also…glad?

I wanted her close to me – it just seemed safer for her, though I wasn't sure exactly from what at this point. Aro and I had been doing business for eight years, and he had no reason to think I was anything other than a satisfied customer. It just might have been all the talk of wiping out a major crime organization that made me get a little paranoid. Ever that was odd, though. Even when I knew I was going into a situation where I could die, II didn't usually care that much.

"I don't want to go to sleep," Bella suddenly said. "I'm so tired, but…"

"Nightmares?"

"Yeah." Bella nodded. "When Rosalie was talking about the um…the place when he kept us…"

She took a deep breath.

"I just can't stop thinking about it now, and I know I'm going to dream about it."

I knew I should say something. I mean, I was supposed to say something at about this time, wasn't I? What the fuck it was supposed to be, I didn't know, though, so I just kind of hummed at her like the moron I was. Fuck, I had to do something, or say something, didn't I? All this shit was my fault, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to make it any better for her.

Oh wait…I guess I could ask.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Bella turned towards me and we locked eyes for a moment.

"Will you just talk to me?" she asked. "Take my mind off of it?"

"What do you want me to talk about?"

"Anything," she said. "Tell me something about you?"

"Like what?"

"Well, I don't really know anything about you," she said with a shrug. "I know you…um…have a thing for guns. Did you always like them? Did you get a BB gun for Christmas or something when you were a kid?"

I had to laugh at that one.

"Um, no," I said. "We didn't do Christmas."

"Are you Jewish?"

"No…we just…um…" I was back to having no clue what to say. How do you explain that your parents never told you about Santa because they couldn't buy gifts and a tree to put up? When your parents both spent more time on unemployment and welfare – half the time trading the food stamps for beer – there just wasn't a whole lot of gift giving going on. "We just didn't celebrate it. Actually, I didn't know about it until I went to school."

"You didn't know about Christmas?" Bella's eyes went wide.

I shook my head.

"How can you live in the United States and not know about Christmas?" she exclaimed. "I mean, the stores have all the decorations up by mid August, it's on television constantly – how can you miss the most commercialized holiday ever?"

"I never went to a store," I told her. "I don't really remember ever leaving our trailer park until someone from the school district came by and told them I had to be enrolled or they'd lose some of their welfare check. So, they put me in school when I was about seven, I think. I hadn't seen a lot of stuff before then."

"Oh my God," she whispered. "You're serious, aren't you?"

I nodded again.

"No big deal," I said. "My income more than makes up for it now."

"Where are they?"

"Who?"

"Your parents?"

"No idea," I told her. I really didn't want to take this any father, but if it would help get her mind off of what she had been remembering…well, maybe I should talk about it.

I kind of owed that to her, right?

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Chapter End Notes:

Time to open up a bit!

Who in the hell will ever take this poor girl shopping? Or will Doofusward be content to keep her in his boxers? Hmmm...yeah, thought so.