Monday, April 18, 2011

CBWR? Chapter 25

Chapter 25! Can you believe that? Hard to believe this little ditty started less than two weeks ago. For those who are keeping track, yes, since this chapter is up, that does meat UC Chapter 19 is off to beta. Once I get it back and do some final editing it will post later on this week.

"How about nailing his dick to the wall for me?"

Chapter 25

"Here's where we're going to have a problem." Alice stubbed her cigarette out on my table and tapped one of the empty boxes on her org chart. It depicted Aro's organization from the top down, outlining all the known key players within the structure. "There two people are unknown, and just getting a name is going to be an issue. The Italian group is also going to be a problem, and we can't forget their Paris outfit."

"There's only three of them there," I said, pointing at the diagram. "None of the others in France have strong loyalty ties. I can take them out, and I think we could even save them for last. They're isolated, and it will take a while for them to get the news."

"A while?"

"Well, a few hours at least."

"We have to hit Italy and Paris at the same time."

"We have to take out both Aro's group and Laurent's here, first."

"Definitely." Alice leaned back and lit another cigarette. "We're going to need reinforcements."


"The Hales, I think. Maybe McCarty, too."

"What do we need the Hales for?" I asked. I didn't really care much for Rosalie Hale, and she sure as hell hated my guts. McCarthy was a good guy, though. He was efficient, and definitely one who took pride in his work.

"Well, Jasper can get the documentation you are going to need to get her out of the country," Alice said with a nod towards Bella. "Besides, I've been fucking him on the side for a while now."

"Damnit, Alice!" I leaned back as the mental image infested my brain. I was pretty sure it actually left little, irreparable holes in my occipital lobe. "Do you really have to tell me that shit?"

She just shrugged.

"He's got a fucking huge penis," she said. "He might even give you a run for your money! Oh, and his tongue, let me tell you…"

She giggle-snorted, and smoke billowed out of her nose.

"Alice, shut the fuck up." I tapped my finger on the iPad screen to get her attention back on target. Well...on targets, really. Ha! I slay me. "Who are we missing?"

"There were seven people at their last meeting," Alice continued once she had finished her little giggle-fest. A chick wearing her boots really shouldn't giggle, if you ask me. It just wasn't right. "I have some surveillance from right outside, and there is one person I can't identify. This may very well be the guy we want."

Alice pulled up a group of grainy photographs.

"That's James," Bella said softly.

I looked up into her suddenly very pale face, and I remembered the name from her dream. I was abruptly overcome with anger.

"He's the…um…trainer." She could hardly get the words out of her mouth, and I stood quickly, afraid she was going to actually collapse. She kept staring at the photograph until I reached for the touch screen and pushed the image away.

"Bella, look at me," I said, but she kept her eyes trained on the iPad screen, though the picture was now of a guy named Felix. Fuck, what if he had hurt her, too? "Alice, turn the fucking thing off."

She pressed the button on the center bottom of the device and moved the whole thing back away from Bella.

"Come on, Bella," I said. "Let's go out on the balcony, okay? A little fresh air, maybe?"

She nodded mutely, allowing me to lead her through the sliding glass doors.

"Want a smoke?" I asked as I pulled one out of my pocket.

She looked up to me, her expression confused.

"I…I don't smoke."

"Right," I said, and sighed.

"This is impossible, isn't it?" Bella said quietly as she stared out across the cityscape. "There are so many of them."

Bella turned and stepped closer to me.

"Edward, maybe you shouldn't do this," she said. I could see the beginning of tears in her eyes again. Ever since I gave her permission to cry, she'd been doing it. "I mean, I can just…be with you like you wanted. I could still be your…um…your slave. And then you don't have to do this and my mom will be okay."

I flicked the butt over the railing and watched it spark as it hit a balcony farther down. I thought about telling her that whatever Aro was going to do with her mother, he had probably already done it. She could already be dead, and just the thought of it would be enough to keep Bella in line. I didn't say that though, because I didn't know what the fuck she would do if I did say it.

"I'm not going to do that to you," I told her. "And I'm going to fuck James up personally for what he did to you. I'm going to rip him apart, and if you want a souvenir – you just let me know what piece of him you want on a chain and I'll make sure you get it."

I cringed, realizing how fucking stupid – not to mention morbid – that sounded. Bella turned and furrowed her brow at me, looking a bit disgusted. I couldn't blame her for that. But then, she pinched her lips together tightly and the corners of her mouth twitched.

A moment after that, she laughed out loud, her hand covering her mouth as she literally screeched with laughter. She actually doubled over with her arm wrapped around her stomach as she kept guffawing. With one more snort, she turned towards me.

"How about nailing his dick to the wall for me?"

"Gladly," I responded with a smile. Her laugh sounded beautiful.

She laughed again, but then her face suddenly fell, and the laughter abruptly changed to sobs again. A moment after that, I was holding her tightly to my chest.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be," I replied. "I will kill him for you. He'll never hurt you again, I promise you that."

Bella nodded, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and allowed me to lead her back into the apartment. Alice was back to playing Angry Birds, but also seemed to be on the phone with someone.

"Yeah – no fucking clue what he's doing…yeah, I thought so, too…obviously better at arms deals that anything personal – ha! Yeah?...okay…let me check. Hey Edward!"


"You gonna need a passport, driver's license – what else for her?"

"I don't know," I said, realizing she must be talking to Jasper Hale. "What does he suggest?"

"He wants to know what else he should get…you think? Yeah…okay. Jasper says you should get a marriage license, too. Makes things easier."

"Marriage license?"

"Yeah, dude – you're getting married!" Alice began to laugh.

This just keeps getting better and better, right?

Chapter End Notes:

Wedding Bells for Doofusward?

Can you make a cake out of Scooby Snacks? Can you see this Alice as a bridesmaid?

Maybe they'll go to Vegas and get married by Elvis.

Oh, all right - they're only getting a fake license, but it's still funny!

I have a new CBWR? banner and I've been waiting to work it in. Foreshadowing and all... pay attention and watch for it! It may be out in the next week or so. Maybe I'll even get a blog page up for it...

Thanks for reading!


  1. wonder if b will ever be able to use her real identity.

  2. Does Bella want it framed as well?

  3. For the first time ever, I think, I love the A/N. You funny. Once I get through this one I am so checking out your other work. But first, Alice is damn, she just wanted to see his reaction. Plus love the line about him being great with weapons but shit in personal life. Maybe she should give him hints.

  4. Oh, this just gets better and better. Fell asleep last night. Hope to polish a bit off today.  

  5. Now they're just sweet!!


  6. oh snap
    a fake marraige licence and the gang getting together
    hot damn! 

  7. LOL! Married...Edward never guessed buying a slave would take him to the alter. I think nailing James dick to the wall perfect. Oh and Bella may have just lucked out being sold to Edward.

  8. I hope they chop off both of James and Aro's dicks and em down their own throats! fuckers!!!

  9. Yes, his dick stapled to the wall would be nice... Maybe Edwards too!!

    Glad Bella is becoming more herself.

  10. A cake out of Scooby Snacks would be just groovy.  I think the wedding should be in the cheesiest wedding chapel in Vegas - Drive through wedding might qualify.  And the official should be dressed like Elvis. Alice can dress as Madonna and sing, 'Like a Virgin'.......

  11. I actually like this Alice more than a giggly shopaholic Alice. I can literally see her...