Author’s Notes:
Surprised/impressed about how many people identified Lee Stephens as the Biology kid who also passed out during blood typing. I didn’t recall ever seeing him in a FF, so I thought he deserved his chance!
“I’m a fucking idiot, and I’m sorry.”
Chapter 61:
I watched Bella’s eyes as they slowly dropped to the ground. I could see by how red they were, and I knew she had been crying, but I had to push that out of my head for now. Her posture changed immediately as she spoke.
“I’m sorry…sir,” she said. I did a little mental happy dance that she was on the same page as me. She glanced up at Lee and then back at the ground again. “I didn’t know there was a…a guest.”
“He’s not here to see you,” I said. “Get back to bed.”
“Yes, sir,” she responded. She turned and quickly went back inside, shutting the door behind her.
I looked back to Lee as I took another long drag, trying to gauge his reaction. His eyes were still on the closed door, but when he looked back to me he smiled.
“Nice,” he said with a nod.
“She’s all right,” I shrugged. I didn’t want his attention focused on her at all, so I made a quick subject change. “Now let’s get on with this.”
We spent about a half hour talking about exactly what he wanted, what quantities, and what he might want in the future. He certainly knew the talk, which made me think he was more likely to be a legitimate customer, but didn’t leave me completely trusting him or anything. When everything was worked out, I walked him back to his car.
“Thanks for talking to me,” Lee said. “And I’m really sorry if I…interrupted anything. I didn’t really think you’d talk to me tonight. Well, not at all, honestly. I hoped you would, but I really didn’t mean to interrupt your…vacation.”
More nervous laughter. Was this guy some kind of gangster fanboy?
“Don’t do it again,” I told him. “You’re lucky I was in a good mood.”
“Yeah…um…well, thanks again.” He held his hand out, and I just looked from the outstretched fingers back to his face, raising an eyebrow a bit. He dropped it, nodded, and got into the car. I watched him maneuver back down the gravel driveway before heading back inside.
I took my jacket off, but brought the gun into the bedroom. Bella was sitting on the bed with her knees tucked up to her chest, and her arms wrapped around them. I stopped in my tracks, not knowing what I should do. I wanted to go to her – try to do something to make her feel better, but I also knew I was the one who upset her. She may not have wanted anything to do with me.
There was also little time for such things, because we needed to get the hell out of here. Legit or not, Lee Stephens was a risk, and I wasn’t going to take any risks when it came to Bella. We needed to leave Germany as soon as possible. Tonight. Now.
“Who was he?”
I looked away and shook my head.
“Doesn’t matter,” I told her. “Just some idiot looking to get his head blown off if he isn’t more careful. He’s worked with Aro before, though. I didn’t want him to get…suspicious.”
“I figured.” Her tone was sharp and blunt.
“I’m sorry,” I said as I reflexively tried to run my hand through my hair, hitting myself in the forehead with the H&K in the process. I grimaced, and Bella started laughing. I looked up and her and smiled a little, because it was good to hear her laugh. It only lasted a few second though, when her laughter turned back into tears. She wiped them away quickly, and I just stood there, not having any idea what I should do.
“I’m not playing that game again, Edward,” Bella suddenly said.
I grimaced again, and then nodded.
“I didn’t know what else to do,” I tried to explain, but knew it was pointless.
Bella put her forehead down on her knees, and I continued to stand there like the idiot I was. I had no idea if I should just leave her in peace, which might very well be what she would prefer, especially since she had already slammed the door once, or if I could try to offer her some kind of comfort. I wanted to do the latter, but I didn’t know if I should even go near her.
She looked back up at me, and she looked as lost and scared as she had the first night – right after her first nightmare. The night she looked at me in horror after she realized it wasn’t just a dream. The acid reflux came back with a vengeance, and I started to wonder if that’s really what is was. The next thing I knew I was in the bed with her in my arms.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I said softly as I held her against my chest. “I didn’t want him to be suspicious…I didn’t know you were going to come out…I couldn’t think fast enough…”
I closed my eyes tight and breathed in the scent of her hair.
“I’m a fucking idiot, and I’m sorry.”
Bella’s arms went around my neck, and she held on to me tightly. She didn’t say anything, and for the longest time I just held her, rocking back and forth a little bit. She eventually stopped crying, and I felt her body relax against me as she sniffled.
“I’m so tired,” she whispered, and I took that as my cue to lay her down against the pillows. I started off lying beside her, still holding her against me, but then I remembered how pissed she was. I played a little mental tennis between stay or go, but when that stupid 80’s song started bopping around in my head in time to the tennis balls, I had to stop thinking and just ask her.
“Do you want me to leave?” I asked.
“No!” she yelled, and her grip on me tightened. “Don’t leave.”
“I won’t,” I promised. I shifted to my side and wrapped one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist, holding her as close to me as I could. “I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
I would be, too. As long as she’d let me, I would be right here beside her. No matter what else happened, I wouldn’t leave her unless she told me to.
At least I had a purpose, right?
Chapter End Notes:
*Singing* Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble! If I stay it will be double!
Yeah – no winning here, huh?
I probably won’t have another update tonight – too much else going on. See you all again tomorrow!
