CBWR? Chapter 83

Author’s notes:

These boring author’s notes brought to you by the ladies of twitter, who really just wanted to get a good mental image of Edward coming before taking the whole thing out on their various significant others.  Poor guys.  They won’t know what hit them.

I loved her.

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Chapter 83

I sure as hell hoped it was okay to come in her because I was far, far beyond the point of no return.  Maybe if she had screamed at me to stop or something I could have ended it, but I probably would have made a mess all over the rose petals anyway. 

“Bella…I’m gonna…gonna…”

“Please!” she cried out as her hips bucked up against mine, and there was definitely no turning back then.  It just gets to a certain point and your body takes over, the sensations are too strong and you can’t completely stop.  Having my cock in the most incredible little sanctuary in existence certainly didn’t help my resilience.  Once the word please came out of her mouth, I was a goner.

My forehead was pushed against her shoulder, locked into the warm spot against her neck, and my hands gripped her hips.  I kept her anchored against me, as tightly as I could while still moving within her body when the feeling overcame me.

It had never, ever been like this.  I’d fucked lots of women, had great orgasms, and walked away without even remembering their names.  Right at that moment, I couldn’t remember my name, but I knew hers.  She was life, and body, and soul, and…God-damnit…she was love.  I knew exactly who had me inside of her.  I knew exactly who it was that – ironically enough – completely owned me.

Bella.

I loved her.

And what I was doing to her…no… with her…was not fucking.

I was making love to her, and it was most certainly my first time, just as it was hers.

The muscles in my shoulders ached with the exertion of holding myself in the same position for too long, and the ache was beautiful.   They also trembled in a way I didn’t recall ever feeling before.  It was not from overuse or lactic acid buildup – they just ached to touch her more, like there was no way I could ever get quite close enough to her to make it good enough.  My glutes, hip, and leg muscles all tensed and rippled as I slammed into her one more time, holding myself as tightly inside of her as possible.

If I could have opened my eyes, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to see.

The sensations flowed from my thighs into my balls, tightening them and clutching them against my body.  I felt the waves of intense feeling shoot out down my shaft and into her, coupled with the most intense emotional response I have ever felt. 

It was desire and protectiveness, lust and neediness – it was want and admiration, passion and frenzy – hunger, rapture…

It was everything.

I screamed.

One long, slow moan against her skin.

As my breath gave out, it sounded like a tearless sob.

Bella’s hand was in my hair still, holding me tight against her skin.  I felt her lips on top of my head as her other hand ran up and down my back.  After many, many minutes like that, I finally managed to push my weight off of her and look at her smiling face.

Her hand went immediately to my cheek, rubbing and caressing it with her fingertips.  There were rose petals fucking everywhere – not just stuck to various parts of the two of us, but all over the bed, the pillows, the floor, the nightstand – even one on the windowsill like it was trying to escape or commit suicide or something.  They looked even more like a fucking explosion than they had when I first put them out.

I reached out and knocked one of the silly things off of her hair and kissed her softly before rolling to the side and off of her.  I didn’t want to lose that contact, but I knew I was crushing her, and she was more important. 

I lay beside her and reached out for her hand.  Like I had the night before, I brought it to my chest, held it there a moment, then kissed the back of her knuckles before lying her palm against my cheek.  Bella obliged with a smile and a little shake of her head.  I looked at her and tried to thank her for what she gave me with my eyes, because I knew anything and everything that might have come out of my mouth would have been wrong.

There weren’t any words for this.

Not really.

Okay, I could have told her how I felt. I could have told her exactly what she meant to me – what I had realized when we were so intimately connected. 

I wanted to tell her.

I wanted her to know.

I knew I couldn’t say it.

So I didn’t.

I settled back against her and closed my eyes, reveling in the sensations of her hand against my temple, jaw and neck.  I inhaled the scent of her neck and wondered if smells were something you needed as badly as water or food, because I was pretty sure I could live off of her smell.  I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me, holding her within my arms and pretending – at least for the moment – that I was good enough for her.

Good enough to love her.

The night had been completely and totally perfect, and there was nothing that could have made it any better.  Even looking back and knowing what was to come I wouldn't have changed the placement of a single rose petal stuck to her shoulder blades.  Even if I had understood at that very moment that it would be our only night together, I still wouldn’t have changed anything.

I still wouldn’t have told her I loved her.

It would have only made things worse, right?

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Chapter end notes:

Leave me some love…or some panic…whatever you like.

Until tomorrow!

Savage – out.

CBWR? Chapter 82

Author’s notes:

Hopefully no one is having problems getting here anymore.  If you are, you aren’t reading this now, so I’m not 100% sure why I writing it.  Apparently I have not been wordy enough yet today.

“You want me to do it?”

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Chapter 82

I crawled up her body, kissing here and there as I went.  She was still breathing heavily, and her chest was rising and falling with her deep breaths as she tried to calm her body.  Her eyes stayed on mine, wide and seemingly in shock.

“Are you okay?” I asked like an idiot.  “I mean…was it okay?”

She nodded her head, but she still looked like she was in shock or something.  I placed one hand on her shoulder, and then ran it up her neck.  The other hand held my weight as I leaned over her and brushed my lips over hers.  As I looked at her, her tongue darted out – probably tasting herself on my lips.

“Do you really…like that?” she asked.  “You weren’t’ just saying that?”

“I really do like it,” I told her, “and I wasn’t just saying that.”

She looked away from me, and I wondered if she was thinking she should reciprocate or some such shit.  No fucking way.

“No!” I said, my tone a little more firm than I really meant for it to be.  She looked back to me, visibly started.  “I don’t want you to – never.   I want to do it to you – whenever you want it, though.  Okay?”

“You won’t…miss it?”

“No.”  I meant that shit, too.  I didn’t know if I really thought about it, but I couldn’t give a flying fuck about ever being in her mouth again.  If I could just figure out how to be in her life, that would be plenty.  “I just want to be with you.”

For a moment we just looked at each other, and I tried to figure out if I was supposed to say something now or if it was her turn.  I never talked while having sex before.  Dirty talk, yes, but not an actual conversation.  Was there protocol?  Were we supposed to take turns with the talking?  Wasn’t it her turn?  I thought it was.

“Now what?”  Bella’s voice was so quiet I could barely hear her.

“Do you still want me to?” I asked, both hoping she would say yes and that she would say no.  I had no fucking idea what my preference really was.  I mean, I knew what I wanted for me, but I wasn’t so convinced that it was a great idea for Bella.  I wasn’t going to turn her down again, though.  Whatever will power I had on that front was completely obliterated.

“Yes,” she said.

“Do you want to be on top?” I asked her. 

“Should I be?”  Her eyes were wide again, and she was biting down on her lip, which just made me want to suck on it.

“It might be easier?” I shrugged.  I really had no idea, but it seemed like if she was in control of the…well, the penetration…then it might be easier.

“I wouldn’t know what to do,” she said, and for the first time she started looking like she was scared.  I ran my hand over her face.

“You don’t have to do this at all,” I told her.  She stared up at me from a sea of red petals.  They were all over the place – all over her, all over the pillows and in her hair and stuck to her shoulders.  “You know we’ll only do this if you want to.  You can back out anytime – right now – if you want to.”

“I don’t,” Bella insisted.  “I don’t want to back out – I just want you to…um…”

She stopped speaking and her face scrunched up a little, turning pink.

“You want me to do it?” I guessed.  She nodded, and I kissed her mouth again.   I could feel her relaxing a little under the touch of my hands and my lips.  I kissed up her jaw and to her ear, sucking on it gently and closing my eyes before I spoke.

“I would do anything you asked me to do,” I told her.  “I would do anything for you.  Anything.”

 “I know,” she said.  I opened my eyes as I felt her head turn towards mine.   “But you don’t have to.”

“I do,” I said.  I covered her mouth again so she couldn’t argue with me.  As we kissed, I moved my hand down her side, brushing my fingertips over her breast before reaching between her legs again.  I ran my fingers over her once before I used my knees to push her legs farther apart, spreading more rose petals around on the bed.  I shifted my hips, bringing them close to her.

I had to close my eyes as I held my dick in my hand and placed the head right at her entrance.  I ran it up and down a few times, feeling the wetness coat the tip, and then repositioned.   I opened my eyes again to find hers locked with mine – nervousness apparent, but also excitement and maybe even…trust?

“I’ll go slow,” I told her.  “You tell me if it’s…if it’s too much, okay?”

She nodded quickly and bit down on her lip.  I leaned over her and kissed her cheek, then down her jaw.  When I met her lips, she opened her mouth to me, and I slowly moved my hips forward.

Ohhhh...God…

I just barely had the head of my cock in her, and I was ready to blow.  I tried to think about sports and guns and Three Stooges episodes, but it didn’t help much.  Tight didn’t even begin to describe her.  I pushed a little more, and heard her gasp.

My eyes flew to hers as I pulled back, though I had really only barely been inside.  She shook her head.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered.

“Did it hurt?”

“Not exactly…it just felt…strange.”

I moved my hand from around my cock and slid my fingers back and forth over her again before slipping one inside.  It went fairly easily, so I tried two again.  Within a couple of minutes she was panting and moaning slightly, as I pulled both fingers out of her and ran them over her clit.

“Try again?”  Bella’s fingers wrapped around the bicep of my arm that held me over her.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

I nodded and ran my moistened fingers up and down my shaft before placing the head of my cock back at her entrance.  Going very slowly, I pushed again, feeling a little less resistance this time.  Her fingers dug into my arm, and I watched her face closely as I moved a little farther inside and felt myself finally move past her entrance.

As soon as I did, I slipped in farther all of the sudden, even though I didn’t think I had pushed harder.  It was more like something just gave way.  I realized something probably had.  Holy shit…

Bella dug her teeth into her lip, and I let go of my shaft to reach up and place my palm against her cheek.

“Still okay?”

Bella turned her face towards my hand and kissed my palm.  With her eyes closed she nodded.

“Please.”

When I moved forward this time, I slid in farther and easier than before.   It was only another moment before I was completely inside of her.

Inside of Bella.

Inside my wife.

Inside heaven.

My head felt like it was spinning around in little circles like someone had placed it on a playground swing, twisted the rope up as tight as they could, and then let it go.

She was so, so soft inside. It was like pushing into wet silk. I had never felt anything like it, and I wondered if it was simply the lack of a condom or not. I didn't think it was. I was pretty it was just the way she was.  She felt so good wrapped around my cock, I could hardly stand it. I wanted to stay right where I was for the rest of my life. I didn't need to get off; I just needed to be in her.  Never leave this spot.  Stay in this bed, in this hotel, with this woman, forever.

Bella placed her hand against my cheek, and I leaned into the sensation. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, echoing my words from earlier.

“More than okay,” I breathed back to her.  I panted through my mouth, trying to keep myself enough in check to last more than a minute or two.  It was going to be a hard battle.  “You feel so, so good…Bella…God…”

I didn’t move, just held myself in her and waited.  I didn’t know what I was waiting for – either for her to get used to me, for my impending orgasm to subside, or maybe just waiting for a meteor to drop on my head or something. It would just figure if one did.

Tentatively, I pulled out about half way.  I wasn’t pulling out of her all together – no fucking way.  I might never pull out of her all the way.  I pushed back in slowly with a groan.  The feeling was just indescribable.  At the very least I would be all over thesuarus.com looking for the right synonym for ecstasy, and then I’d get pissed off at none of the words being adequate. 

It was fucking awesome, that’s what it was.

But better.

You know?

Oh, fuck it.

Bella’s hand’s were on my shoulders, gripping me tightly as I moved in and out of her slowly and gently – like I promised her I would.  I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to my chest.  I could feel the little rose petals as the clung to my biceps and legs, and I might have found the little fuckers annoying except for the sight I saw when I opened my eyes.

Lying in the middle of the bed, on her back with her arms reaching up to me was Bella.  The twinkling lights from the Eiffel Tower were shining into the room through the giant floor-to-ceiling windows and causing her skin to glow in color.  All around her were the deep red petals, making her look like she was lying in the middle of a fluffy, blood-stained cloud.

Okay – so romantic similes were never going to be my thing.

Fucking sue me.

I moved just a little faster, rocking into her without pulling out very far.  So slick…so wet…so warm…so fucking incredible.  I lay my forehead against her shoulder and felt her hand coil back into my hair.  It was all I needed to send me over the edge.

It was okay to come inside her, right?

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Chapter end notes:

I told ya I was going to do it!  A whole chapter of just Edward’s O coming up next.  Hang on – it should be out later tonight. *evil grin*