Wednesday, May 18, 2011

CBWR? Chapter 96

Author’s notes:
Hang on tight. 
Get the tissues. 
Faith.
Trust.
You made it this far.
My finger brushed the edge of the trigger.
 ____________________________________
Chapter 96:
I didn’t even know it was Christmas Eve until people started going on about how dinner was going to be catered in from some charity or another.  Turkey and all the trimmings.  The idea made my stomach turn.  I went to dinner anyway, had some sweet potatoes and Seth handed me his roll in exchange for my turkey and stuffing.  Some new guy – Embry – sat with us.  He was just about as big as Seth, and Seth said he was “grooming him” to watch out for me when he was gone.  He seemed to think that phrase was pretty fucking funny, and laughed every time he said it.
We had free time for the rest of the day, so I went back to my cell to grab my smokes and head outside.  There was a letter sitting on my bed that hadn’t been there before.  I reached out, turned it over and saw the Washington postage cancelation.  I opened it slowly.
Edward,
I guess I have given up.  I should have listened to everyone else all along.  You have been getting my letters – I got the registered letter card back from the last one, and it was signed by the warden at the penitentiary.  You obviously aren’t writing me back, and I can only assume that means you don’t want to hear from me.
I’m sorry about everything, but I have to start moving on.
Bella
My stomach clenched so hard, I doubled over – fighting to keep what I had just eaten in my stomach. 
She didn’t sign it “love.”  She wasn’t writing again.  How long ago did she send this?  I flipped it over, and saw it was dated four weeks ago – about one week after I had sent her mine.
How could I have been so, so fucking stupid?
Two years, and I never wrote her.  Not even a fucking card on her birthday.  Nothing.  I did nothing.
I waited too long.
I dropped to my knees on the floor.  My breathing was coming way too fast, and my heart felt like it was trying to jump right out of my chest.  I could barely stand, and I was definitely in danger of just passing out. 
Two years.
Two fucking years.
 I needed to see Irina.
I pushed myself off the floor and went as quickly as I could to her office, not even sure if she would still be there.  When I walked past the infirmary, I couldn’t believe how many people were in there – inmates and guards alike.  Even the guard that usually stood at the door to Irina’s office was inside, trying to herd prisoners and bedpans.
People were puking everywhere. 
I mean everywhere.
I heard the words “food poisoning” and “salmonella” being thrown around.
I walked a step into the room, looking around at the chaos of people throwing up, rolling around on the overfilled cots and chairs, screaming that they were dying, or that they needed to go to the hospital, and the guards trying to keep some kind of order while they themselves were turning green and clutching their stomachs.  I looked around to see if Irina was there, but she wasn’t.  I could see the door to her office from where I was, and it was open, but no one was inside.
That’s when I saw it, and everything became crystal fucking clear.
The guard had his back to me.  His Beretta was unclipped from its holster and just a couple of feet away from me.
A guy puked on his shoes right about then, and he didn’t even notice when I lifted it.
The cool metal felt good in my hands, like it was supposed to be there, like it had purpose. 
I backed up slowly, making sure I didn’t draw attention to myself.  I slipped into Irina’s office and shut the door, and then I pushed the desk up against it, wedging it tight.  I dropped down to the floor in the back corner of the room, the gun held tight in my hands, even though they were still shaking.
I had nothing.  My businesses were gone – taken over by Emmett and Alice or just folded up because of where I was.  I had learned just enough between the time all of this started and now to know that buying shit was never, ever going to mean anything to me again anyway.  I also know there was only one thing…one person…who meant anything at all to me. 
And she was gone now, too.
I leaned forward, tipping the barrel of the gun up towards the ceiling and resting my chin on top of it.  I was so fucking tired.  I was tired of trying to pretend I could get better.  I was tired of trying to think I could pick of the pieces of my shattered, so-called life.  I was tired of trying to think and believe that there was any reason for me to continue.
There was banging on the door, but I barely heard it.  People were yelling my name, yelling for the warden, yelling for Irina.  I glanced up at the camera in the corner of the office and sighed.  My whole body felt cold, and there was pressure in my head and behind my eyes.  It hurt, and I was so fucking tired of hurting.
But I didn’t hurt like she had.  Hospitals, money, her dad…
I heard a strange, unfamiliar sound from my throat.
The racket outside the door continued.  I heard different voices, then they went away, and there were new ones again.  The phone rang, but I didn’t answer it.  People started talking to me through the doorway, but I didn’t listen to what they were saying.
The noise of the door shattering right off its hinges made me jump a little, but I didn’t look up.  I closed my eyes and felt the sharp point of the barrel dig deeper into my jaw.  I tilted my head forward slightly, and when I licked my lips I could taste the black metal on my tongue.  I closed my eyes even tighter.  My finger brushed the edge of the trigger.
 “Give me the gun, Edward,” she said.
The sweetest, most incredible sound in the entire world.
My eyes opened, and I saw dusty black and white converse shoes near my feet.
“Please, Edward,” Bella whispered.  “Please give it to me.”
My throat seized up, and I could feel tears pouring down my face at her hushed words.  All this time, and I had never cried, not once.   Not for her, not for me – not for anyone. 
“There’s no…no…reason…” I choked out, but I couldn’t finish my thought or my sentence.
“Give it to me,” she repeated, and I opened my eyes enough to see her crouch down in front of me.  “Please?”
My hands were shaking again, and all I could do was choke out barely intelligible syllables at her.
“I’m sorry!  I’m sorry!  I wanted to write you – I swear I did.  I wanted to so much, and I didn’t know what I should do…please…I’m sorry, Bella…I’m sorry!  I’m sorry!”
“Shh…”
I watched her hand wrap around the barrel, and my fingers loosened.  She pulled the weapon out of my hand and away from me.  It felt like my body was trying to collapse in on itself.  My eyes ached in a way I had never felt before, and I couldn’t stop the tears from falling out of them.
“Not yet…give her a minute first.  It will be better.”  I heard Irina’s soft voice near the door.
Bella reached up her hand and put the gun on top of the desk.  Another hand grabbed it away, but I had no idea whose it was.  I didn’t know anything at that moment, because that was when she touched me.
And my world shifted on its axis, tilted, spun, whirled around until its direction was true, straight, and certain.  Everything else felt like it just melted away in that moment – the prison, what I had done to her, what I had done to us – it all evaporated as her hand reached up and ran over the side of my face.
Her scent enveloped me, her breath caressed me, and her skin called me home.  I felt her arm around my shoulders as she pulled my head to her chest.  I wrapped my arms around her back, and she pulled me even tighter against her.
“I’m so, so sorry,” I cried into her T-shirt.  Knowing that timing meant nothing, and that whatever needed to be said had to be said now, I finally uttered the words that had scared me more than anything else in the world ever had.
“I love you!  I always did…I should have told you!  I love you!  I love you!”
“It’s all right, Edward…it’s all right…I’m here now,” I felt her lips against the top of my head.  “I love you too, Edward.  I should have told you, too.  I never stopped loving you…never.”
I wanted to ask her the how and the why of her being here, but I was afraid I would break whatever spell I was under.  Maybe it was too late – maybe I had pulled the trigger, and by the grace of whatever God there is, I had been brought to heaven…
I had atoned for my sins, right?
_____________________________
Chapter end notes:
Suspend your disbelief, people!  If canon Bella can run across a fountain through a crowd of people just before Edward walks into the sun, the prison counselor can keep the guards at bay while a prisoner with a gun gets comforted by his girl!
Um…still more realistic than a hybrid baby?
Oh fine!
Artistic license!!
You’ll get the explanation of how she got there and all that in the next chapter, coming tomorrow.

202 comments:

  1. I knew she would come!!!!  That was awesome!!  More fuckning tears though.  You have wrenched my heart out in such a good way!! 

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  2.  OMG your a/n make me laugh so fucking hard.  I love the crazy makes no sense come on what movie could be real life.  I want entertained and you do that so well.

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  3.  I actually cried after i held my breath till the last paragraph. I knew she would come eventually. It's about time they both know how the other feels. Thank you thank you for this update. 
    I hate that this story is ending soon.

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  4. Omg, so sad it came to that, but I guess happy tears. Hey it's FF you can write it how you want to. Thanks for the quick updtae.

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  5.  I almost had a heart attack when Bella arrived... OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!
    *sobs*

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  6.  OMG I want to scream...didn't see that coming.. so glad she made it

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  7. Hitchy *crazy for THG*May 18, 2011 at 5:01 PM

    Bahahaha!  This is fiction and you find yourself having to explain your artistic choices?  Good Lord, people take their fics too seriously.  You were painfully realistic about the consequences for Bella and Edward.  Some creative problem solving was necessary for the HEA.  I loved it.

    I am SO glad that she's there.  These two can only heal together. 

    Oh Doofy.  Hasn't this whole experience taught you anything?  You can't solve your problems with a gun. 

    Give Doofy and Bella my love.

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  8. Great chapter! I can't wait for more ;)

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  9. OK HAPPY THAT SHE THERE (BETTER BE REAL OR I COME INTO YOUR DEARM MISS LOL JUST JOKING) BUT CRYING THAT SO SAD

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  10.  Wow....I am stunned and in disbelief, but I absolutely love it!

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  11. Such sweet relief...
    I LOVED his letter to her...and she must have read between the lines...
    Oh my...what a hard time our girl has had...while trying to be brave for him...
    Atonement...
    I'm hoping that his cohorts in crime saved a bit of his $$$ for him...
    Christmas, the time of miracles...and hugs...
    Thanks, sweetie!
    AND I know you were angsting, but this and the last chapter were perfection... 

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  12. nicolecullen41090May 18, 2011 at 5:07 PM

    DEFINITELY more realistic then a hybrid baby.... here comes suicide watch and solitary for Edward!! i wonder for how long..... ooh, maybe a jailhouse wedding is in the works???

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  13.  Yup bursting out with big fat tears.  Oh my god.  That was just so passionately written.  Did that make sense?  I was just screaming out when he read that letter.  Then when he went to grab the gun.  I didn't want him to end it.  THen Bella...she came, she came and saved him.  Dear God Shay!  I am rooting for the bad guy who is really a broken guy with the potential to be a good guy.  

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  14. sob!!!!!!!!!!!   I caught up today on about 8 chapters and have cried, sobbed all freaking day!  at least it ended up good, great, fantastic!!!!!!!!!!   I knew you would give us a hea.  thank god. 
    sob.   

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  15. Awesome. I have travelled back and forth across the country over the past few days and these two crazy lovebirds have made the trip way better! And, of course it's more realistic than a hybrid baby! I'm already waiting for tomorrow!

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  16. she's actually there? my gosh, I thought he's lost it for good... but if she IS there I'm so HAPPY!!!! really savage? but why that letter? I'm not understanding... but if she is there then it''s all good.
    far too much betterr than hybrid babies and all cannon shits...
    thank you so much!!! 

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  17. Wow.  That was rough.  Suicidal Edward is just blasphemous.  That was painful to read.  3 suicide attempts?  Charlie died?  Damn. 

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  18. Catalina AntoineMay 18, 2011 at 5:15 PM

    Oh my GOD!!!!!!! I was literally with my mouth open practicly the entire chapter, reading to see what would come next, and I never, in my wildest dreams thought that Bella would appear...but I'm all for creative license! Now to wait for tomorrow's chapter...any chance it could come today?? pretty please *pouty face with real tears in my eyes*

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  19. OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    SAVAGEEEEEE  SO, SO, SO GOOD...  @MoniNP *panting*.... 

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  20. yeah baby - you atoned for your sins, big time!!!!!!!!!!   

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  21. Thanks for not shooting him in the face.   Amd shocked at the turn of events but I guess we have 2-3 chaps for it to turn bad yet so I'll be waiting.  I appreciate the chapters, though, thank you.

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  22. Fucking fantastic!!!! Thank you for keeping writing it. I just hope you decide to extend it to more than 100 chapter. I can hope, right?

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  23. more than 100 chapters....or a sequel?

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  24. Maybe her mother gave her the ticket as a Christmas present.  But how are you going to end this in four chapters?  Bella is there, so that is hope.  But I really want happy too.  So sue me! 

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  25. Amiga,
    I'm awed by your awesomeness.  I'm still not a fan for what E did. I'm glad B came clean with how horrible her life became post E because now I'm feeling for her.  I can't believe only 4 more chappies.

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  26. Thank. God.

    Or actually, Thank. Savage.

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  27.  EVIL!! WOW... i just stop breathing for a while and then your amazing brain brought Bella to Edward and and and...... I didn't expect it... just wow! 
    Are you serious?? only 100? so soon?? 
    AMAZING JOB! love it!!

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  28. so you've got me crying and laughing at the same time. Crying at the mess that is Bella and Edward, laughing at your excuses/explanations for your fictional being fictional.. awesome chapters girlie...

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  29. You effing rock! Two great chapters.

    I will now cry because its almost over:(

    ~@shelgibson

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  30. Crying here! Love Bella sweeping in at the last minute and saving the day!
    Gotta review previous chapter here, too, since I read them both at the same time. Poor Bella, all that crap going on for her, and the one person who could keep her nightmares at bay wasn't there for her. So sad, all the stuff going on!
    Really wish 100 wasn't going to be the end - sure you don't want to try for 150?
    This has been so awesome - and I don't care how unrealistic Bella getting in and getting the gun from him, w/o tons of guards taking him down. It was BEAUTIFUL! I really love living in this fantasy land of FanFics, that take me away better than Calgon!
    Thanx, Savage, looking forward to tomorrow's chapter, where they both start healing (I hope). No more tears! Not mine, nor theirs! Gotta go find the tissues now.
     

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  31. Crying here! Love Bella sweeping in at the last minute and saving the day!
    Gotta review previous chapter here, too, since I read them both at the same time. Poor Bella, all that crap going on for her, and the one person who could keep her nightmares at bay wasn't there for her. So sad, all the stuff going on!
    Really wish 100 wasn't going to be the end - sure you don't want to try for 150?
    This has been so awesome - and I don't care how unrealistic Bella getting in and getting the gun from him, w/o tons of guards taking him down. It was BEAUTIFUL! I really love living in this fantasy land of FanFics, that take me away better than Calgon!
    Thanx, Savage, looking forward to tomorrow's chapter, where they both start healing (I hope). No more tears! Not mine, nor theirs! Gotta go find the tissues now.
     

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  32. Crying here! Love Bella sweeping in at the last minute and saving the day!
    Gotta review previous chapter here, too, since I read them both at the same time. Poor Bella, all that crap going on for her, and the one person who could keep her nightmares at bay wasn't there for her. So sad, all the stuff going on!
    Really wish 100 wasn't going to be the end - sure you don't want to try for 150?
    This has been so awesome - and I don't care how unrealistic Bella getting in and getting the gun from him, w/o tons of guards taking him down. It was BEAUTIFUL! I really love living in this fantasy land of FanFics, that take me away better than Calgon!
    Thanx, Savage, looking forward to tomorrow's chapter, where they both start healing (I hope). No more tears! Not mine, nor theirs! Gotta go find the tissues now.
     

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  33. at first and...well, right up to the A/N's i was convinced he went crazy.
    grief can do that to a person.

    now, please tell me this wont affect his chances for parole.


    thanks for this chapter. we needed it.  :)

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  34. I adore you!  I am a sucker for a love story even if it's torrid and f-ed up.  I needed some lovin' for Eddie.  Awwww shucks...so great. 

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  35. Oh my God I started crying at the beginning thinking he was going to pull the trigger. I was freaking out thinking he was going to die. I love Iriana now! Thank God Bella came and stop him. Aww they said I love you to each other. Thanks for the great writing.

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  36. I'm just...crying here. 

    Always darkest before the dawn...I like your version of the NM clock tower moment very much. 

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  37. I had trouble getting through the last few paragraphs and felt myself tearing up because I was afraid Edward would really kill himself! ): ... i think that would be too cruel for you to do to us though (: ahaha. I've been following this story since its beginning and I'm sad that it will be over soon. At first, I didn't care for it muchh. It wasn't my kind of story, but it's grew on me so much!! It's an amazing story . I love it. It's so sad. Bella and Edward's lives are just so sad. Edward really has nothing but Bella..awwwwweeee):

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  38. OMG I've been crying all the afternoon and for a change this tears are not for my pathetic life... I love this story so much it takes me away from real life...

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  39. You had me worried there for a few moments. I new you would come thru for me. I feel better now. 

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  40. I'm scared to read this chapter... As soon as I read "get the tissues" and "finger on the trigger", I scrolled down to post.

    Hmm... Should I or shouldn't I???

    I think I'll go play words with friends and ear dinner while I decide if this is something I can handle tonight.

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  41.  Thank God for Bella.

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  42. I cried.  I was so happy for him ... for her.  Can't wait for tomorrow!

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  43. Oh my god, she saved him. That he actually wanted to kill himself was horrible but totally believable. So glad I caught this update before I went to sleep - it's 1.30 am in Ireland. Have to admit I cried. Can't wait for the next chapter tomorrow, and sad that the end is so near. It's all been a blast - even the angst.
    But hey...christmas payback for all the carnivores? The turkey bites back? Was that a tad mean....

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  44. Oh jesus, you had me really scared there for a little bit. Thank you for not leaving the chapter with a horrible cliff hanger. Sigh. So happy they had the "I love you" confessions. Awesome! Loved the chapter! Thank you for the updates!

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  45. I just reread this cuz I could.  You really are pretty poetic with the words you know.  I have to say I'm a bit relieved it is almost over cuz I'll gain back some time in my day instead of sitting at the computer clicking refresh on your blog.  :)  I will miss the story though, especially Edward.  I can't wait to see what you do with the last 4 chapters.  I don't know how you feel about providing people with a pdf of your stories but I would love one of this.  Include your notes cuz they are just as awesome as the story.   

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  46.  This chapter. Artistic licenses are very important, but all that set aside even not considering Bella appearing out of no where it was still amazing and so very heart-wrenching. It was the turkey! See! That stuff is bad for ya. Knew it. Only a few more chapters left to go. Amazing job Sav!

    ~Jessi

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  47. It's my first time to comment here...haha!!!but just like what i've said about UC...this fic is really epic and unforgettable...i'm saying this in advance before the last chap,cause i know you'll be bombarded with comments and messages...These characters you created are so real that i feel like their going to jump right out of the screen and shoot me!hehe...anyway~you have the gift of making a story out of the impossible situations and making the unrealistic, realistic..just keep writing cause you make me smile everytime you update one of your fics(even if the chap is angsty).
    p.s.
    more power to you!
    -nadz

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  48. You get all the artistic license you want, hon. That was a wonderful reunion!

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  49.  *sob* She came for him. He told her! OMG that was SO good...

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  50. Two thumbs up!! Maybe Santa IS real :)
    You're awesome. Thank you :D

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  51. The tears are falling! I feel so bad for both these 2. "deep sigh" Thank you for giving them a reunion. Maybe that will give them both some peace. ......Karen

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  52. Well that was totally unexpected.  I can't wait to hear that explaination lol. That was tense as hell. 

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  53. But is that you want that I die?
    First the letter of Bella and now Edward suicide attempt.
    When you give us a break?
    For heaven's sake do not make us suffer any more!
    My heart can not take it anymore.

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  54. You and your imagination - takes us on these incredible roller coaster rides - I'm stuck by how one decision - hastily made - "i want to buy a girl" led to the destruction of so many lives.

    Bella - Renee - Charlie -Edward -now even the  careless guard has likely lost his job - No one I know has ever been touched by a major crime, but everyday thousands in the U.S. are. That ripple effect - to chose to do wrong - is sobering.

    I wonder if it is possible  to heal after all their pain?

    xx 

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  55. She went to visit him for Christmas!!! She sent her letter before she got his. I freaking loved it!!! I used to go in prisons a lot for work. It would've been way more dramatic, but the hostage team may possibly have used Bella to talk him down. Not tooooooooo far fetched..in fact, it worked perfectly for the story! Love it:)

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  56.  Okay, I like you again. You can be my friend :D

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  57. Vanessa CampbellMay 18, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    I locked myself in my bathroom to read this chapter in peace and it's a good thing I did because I am balling like a baby right now....I think my husband thinks I need therapy too.  I am way to vested in this story but goddamn I am not the only one.  Can't wait for the next chapter.   I may stay right here until it comes. 

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  58. Not since The Devil's Rejects have I cheered so hard for a bad guy! Slightly more realistic than a hybrid baby, baby I still think you're just being mean lately.

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  59. Literally crying! Crying big fat fucking tears! Gahhhh....this is so heart wrenching.
    You got me at the end. You got me! I NEVER expected this! Ever!!!!

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  60. That was so sad! I am seriously hurting for Edward... 

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  61. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Best.Chapter.Ever. 

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  62.  I like that kind of artistic license.  I relaly thought you were going to kill him off.  I always want more so I can't wait until tomorrow.

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  63. Damn, I should have known this was all 'New Moon'! I thought he was really going to kill himself! I need to bring my heartrate down now and stop crying. Awesome job!

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  64. okay i am crying now... damn i am a sobbing idiot right now... everyone at my house is going to think i am insane.  you have sucked me in soo badly i can't take it.... i can't believe she showed up!  wow just wow!! 

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  65.  OMG, Savage! are you trying to kill us?? :D this is so emotional!!! :') can't wait for the coming chapters! =)

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  66. Ok so I have been addicted to this story since chapter 1 and I am leaving tomorrow morning to go on a cruise. No internet, I am gonna have to wait to read the end of the story until late monday. SO PLEASE dont take the story down when its down I HAVE to know what happens next!!! 

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  67.  It's not going anywhere - no worries. :)

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  68. Okay, I ate, kicked some ass in WWF, put on my big girl panties and came back and read this MF! Thank you Lord (or I guess in this case, thank you Savage)! At least my tears are joyful ones this chapter.

    And you gotta live artists license and yes... It's still way more realistic then werewolves, vampires and hybrid babies! Now I think I can sleep peacefully tonight!

    Wonder who paid her travel expenses? Or maybe that insurance policy came in on time and after the last letter she sent she knew she had to see him in person!

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  69.  I knew you weren't going to kill him off, but I still heaved a HUGE sigh of relief when he gave up the gun. Bella is there, the ILY's have been said, and everything WILL be OK...in time.

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  70. OH MY FUCKING GAWD!!  I AM BAWLING MY EYES OUT! (sorry for shouting, but shit, I'm so emo now!!!!).....thank God she came....thank God she wasn't too late....thank God they've both confessed their love!   Now what?  I am in total shock, and in some relief. 
    You are absolutely amazing!!!  What a freaking ending!  I AM *DED* here.....thank God Edward isn't!!! 

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  71. Fanfuckintastic!  I can totally comprehend how this is possible.  She must have got the insurance money sooner and spent it to go see Edward.  Once again Bella risks everything for Edward and love. 

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  72. Oh, god, Vanessa....that is so cute!  I know how you feel! 

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  73. most of he scenes are so intense....like this last one!! chemistry, chemistry. i guess they do have chemistry but they also have timing!!!

    the reason for the puking was the turkey right? edward got lucky....!!! hhahahaha

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  74. Oh, yes, Shay....I would love a pdf, too!  Let us know if you are willing to do that!

    thanks...... 

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  75. Are you trying to kill me? And don't mention Breaking Dawn to me - I still think of the Twilight saga as a trilogy! lol.

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  76. I read all the other comments first and either I missed something in an a/n or you announced on Twitter that you will stop at 100 chapters ( I REALLY need to set up a Twitter account).  I see artisitic license as your right as a fiction author so no worries there.  I'm still a little confused on the letters.  According to what he told Irina, Bella's tone changed in the last letter he received before he wrote to her.  I believe his letter crossed in the mail with the one in this chapter, so what exactly did the one before this say?   Will we find out or must we use our own imagination?  No matter what happens in the final chapters the ILYs have been said and sins have been atoned (in my mind and I think in the characters' minds too).  You did an EXCELLENT job in redeeming this character.  I can honestly say I don't want this story to end and I would be screaming for a sequel if UC wasn't still ongoing (would still like a Surviving Bella sequel though-hint, hint).  This has been an awesome experience as a reader and cannot say thank you enough for your continuation regardless of the ffn crap.  I have loved everything you've written and look forward to all your future projects.   --Monique (MoniJo)

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  77. amazing amazing!!  I  was so glad Bella showed up and saved him!  I thought it could go the other way for a minute.  Such great writing I could feel how low Edward was as he hit absolute rock bottom.  Hope they turn a corner now and some how Edward gets parolle and soon!!  Sad it is ending soon wish it could go on and on but now you can start a another NEW story we will fall in love with again.  No pressure. 

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  78.  Bella's long letter was the one with the different "tone".  The short one, where she says she is giving up on him, if the one that cross Edward's letter to her in the mail.  Make sense? :)  Glad you liked it!

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  79. OK so i JUST started reading this story. I decided to jump to this chapter to write my review: I'm hooked after chapter 1 and I will seriously be trying to make it to to this point by tomorrow (crossed-fingers). 

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  80. So much love for this.
    Could you post this as a PDF so I can reread this
    Hope you say yes:)
    please and thank you

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  81. OK running commentary of my thoughts while reading this chp:

    Still veggie, I see... hmmm.
    Guards sick. he's gona try to escape. yeah. but what if he doesn't make it. what if he does - will he find Bella. How long can they run for?
    Wuh - nah. He's going to try to kill himself... noooooooo.
    ah. Irina found him. hold on. that's not Irina. Is it?
    Wait. where on earth did Bella come from. Is he dreaming? No, seems real. Talk about deus ex machina. Shoot, I don't care how she got there - she's there. 
    He said it. He told her he loves her. She said it too. Everything will work out, right?
     

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  82. You know what?  I MISSED A CHAPTER!!!!!   Going back to read right now.....

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  83. So... I was closer than I thought with the New Moon reference... her second to last letter was exactly What I thought it'd be. I was surprised by her last letter but now I'm thinking her mom kept his letter from her.
    Hmmm...suicide watch for poor Edward now. Guy can't get a break. Well... I guess Bella showing up before he went "into the light" ;-) was a bit of good luck. I'm happy Irina wasn't a snitch in this.

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  84. can't wait to find out what happened

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  85. Locked in bathroom. Heart beating wildly. Ears ringing. Tears on face.

    I just read A Voice in the Darkness by Katinki. So you really really scared me since that recommended on your blog.

    Btw, the irony of everyone getting salmonella from the turkey did not get past me. So symbolic.

    Roshambo

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  86. cullencougerwannabeMay 18, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    As soon as I read "Christmas Eve" I just KNEW that Bella was going to show up. Then I was so afraid that Edward was going to try & escape to go & see her & somehow they would miss each other.  Glad his veggie-ness spared him the food poisoning ( I know... totally NOT the point of the story! LOL!), and so glad that Bella made it to him in time. Now they just have to make it past what?!?!? Prison Warden Aro? No wait, he's dead. I'm thinking somehow you'll bring a corelation between the 'tribulal' of the Volturi, and Edward facing the parole board, and then they're home free....I know - that's a little unrealistic, but a girl can hope, right? ;) 

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  87. cullencougerwannabeMay 18, 2011 at 6:56 PM

    Love your attached 'stocking' pic! ;) 

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  88. Waaaay better!
    I completely believed in Edward's crisis of faith here (compared to his 'sigh whatever FU Aro' in New Gloom death by sparkle.)

    When he first had the gun I had no idea what he was going to do. (I actually thought: ruh ruh: jail break... this is not good.)This was his lowest moment and I thought he could not come back from this darkest hour and was he going to go postal?

    This is how you make me want these two back together: to give him hope.
    To keep going towards his recovery. 
    Because I want Edward to admit he not just sorry but that he needs her and will be a better man for her.
    Believe me, I want!
    But I worry.
    Is she old enough and healthy enough and strong enough for this yet?
    I am so glad Irina is there!

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  89. Well hell. Bawling my eyes out here! You weren't kidding about needing the tissues! *blows nose*. I was so skeered Edward was gonna off himself...but I thought Savage wouldn't do that, right? Can't wait to find out how Bella got there! Mwah!

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  90. ah! she's there! way crazy! you had me crying because he was gonna die before chapter 100! 

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  91. I am writing again now that I have calmed down and can breathe again.

    I wanted to add that the New Moon rescue scene is one of my favorites so this rescue to me is perfect.

    I am also joining everyone in the campaign for a possible sequel but knowing you, you already have something up your sleeve. You will make it possible or not. Like SB.

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  92. One more. Edward didnt know if he was in heaven or not. Same as canon. Love it.

    Roshambo

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  93. She sent the "Dear John" letter to him, and then received FINALLY received a letter from him after 2 years. She has shitty luck. Plain and simple.

    So, of course she has to come to him and tell him that she didn't really give up on him. She couldn't wait the 3-4 weeks to tell him in a letter...THANK GOD she came when she did. Maybe her luck is finally changing.

    They have to take him out of prison and put him in the psych ward. With Irina's help, he can get out early, right?

    Merry Christmas Paw...oh wait, wrong fic haha

    Only a few more chapters?? Seriously?

    Okay. *patiently waits for a HEA*

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  94. I have read both Chapters, and I am going to comment on both now.
    Chapter 95 Holy crap. I cannot believe she has had to continue dealing with bad things. I was really starting to think that they needed to see each other soon.

    Chapter 96
    I sat on the edge of the couch the whole time. When he grabbed that gun, the tears started. Hubby was looking at me like I was out of my mind. I think Irina helped get Bella there. But what is going to happen to him now because of the suicide attempt?

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  95. LMAO...my husband thinks I need therapy.  Mine too, honey. He also wants to hold an intervention to rid me of my blackberry (also known as fic-pipe). He hid my fic-pipe once...only once. I went crazy on him like Victoria--teeth bared and panting. He gave it back and swore not to touch the Precious again. haha
    Group therapy is the way to go. Hello, i'm addicted to Savage7289 and Edward. I don't want your help.

     

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  96. I'm glad I got back to reading this after I stopped at chapter 83.

    Oh my... savage, you write so good! How do you do it?! Seriously?! Only 4 fanfic authors had me in tears, and you're the 4th! I love how this chapter is so similar with that of Edward's sunshine destruction in New Moon, and Bella's there to save the day! And I'm sorry I'm ending all of my sentences is exclamation points!

    Thank you so much for sharing and constantly updating this story to us, fandom peeps.

    Good job! :D

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  97. You can use as many Artistic license as you want!!! You are the author,right? She is rhere and he just carresed the trigger. How she got there is important, but takes second place to when she got there!!! And the date!!! Lets not forget about the date. Or the fact he is avegeterian!!! He has to be happy about that too. Getting sick because of bad poultry, awful just awful.
    Plenty of expkaining for tomorrow!!!! Will we be able to sleep??

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  98. I FUCKING LOVE YOU SAVAGE!

    As soon as I read the beginning a/n I started crying. When he read Bella's letter I stopped breathing but kept crying (still don't know how I manage that). I knew that if he didn't had hope that someday he and Bella would be together there was nothing left for him to live. It was a matter of when he was going to be able to kill himself. Nothing Irina told him would matter. Then you pull a New Moon Bella saving the day scene. At first I really thought that he died and that was just the last thing that his mind processed in order to give him peace. That would have meant that the last 4 chapters would have been Bella's POV and maybe you can guess what I would have expected of her in the last chapter.

    It's too soon to finish this; you can totally go on until chapter 200 or even better 500. They are short, you can totally do it. That way we can see them make a life together and have non-hybrid kids :)

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  99.  Thank goodness she got here in time

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  100.  My guess would be that Irina helped Bella to get there. I'm so confused right now, I'm not even sure I'm glad she came on time O.O

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  101. FLUV you. The. End. 

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  102. Oh hell it's more believable than a ton of the prison movies on TV, right!  ;D lol

    At first I'd been afraid Bella would be the one to go truly suicidal and that his letter would come just in the nick of time (and maybe it did).  But yeah, I do have to wonder if Alice has a way to check in on his letters and she played Fairy God-Alice or something.  :D  Still want her to step up and give his old money to her. Seems to me with how protective of her Rose and she were that would occur to them. But then, they did help her buy lingerie and sexy dresses, so who knows.  Then again, it'd just be like Bella to have E's letter make her ignore his wishes and use what little money she has to go to him. 

    I loved what you did here.  Oh so heart wrenching.  And I'm with you I like it far better than the reality!  And this could be RARE reality - right?  :D

    Thanks for writing and sharing!!!

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  103. She's there !! I'm so happy... I can't believe that this story is almost over !  What will I do ?  I need my fix everyday with you :)

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  104.  LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVED IT.
    You are absolutely ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY AMAZING!
    Can't wait to read more of CBWR and all your other stories!

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  105.  This was such an amazing chapter, because I could really feel how low Edward had fallen, as soon as I read the teaser line I had this sick feeling he was going to try and kill himself-- but Bella finally returning has made everything so much better now!  What an emotional rollercoaster, and in the best way possible because of the excellence of the writing!  I love when the characters grip me this much.
    I can't believe its coming to an end!  I will actually be leaving for England friday afternoon, and will have limited internet access, so I am hoping to get to read as much of the full story as possible before then, so maybe the ending is actually at a good place for me.  But I am so glad I didn't have to leave before this chapter, I would have been sick with anxiety waiting in the middle of all that's been going on.
    Anyway, love it and can't wait to see the next chapter!

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  106. I don't think anyone helped her get there.  I think she got his letter just after she had sent hers, and she knew that she had to try to get to him before he got her letter.  Fricking AMAZING. 

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  107. *closes mouth and wipes away drool* Sooo happy with this recent turn of events. I really hope Edward doesn't have too many repercussions for taking the gun. It is fic and all. Maybe Irina will convince them to look the other way since it was sort of the guards fault that Edward was able to get it in the first place with it not being secured.  I knew that Irina would come through with something when she said she would take his letter and mail it for him. I don't know if its normal or if it was above and beyond the call of duty, but Irina probably knew they would both be dead soon if something wasn't done. Bella was suicidal and Edward was wasting away. Thank you for giving us this tonight. I almost stopped reading (when he barricaded himself in the office) to put it off until tomorrow because with the tissue warning and all I didn't think I could handle it. So glad I kept reading. Can't wait to find out how they pulled this off and see where you go with it.  

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  108.  I'm gonna see this story through just because i've invested all this time on it...still it feels unsatisfying...like not realistic...and weren't you the one that said throughout this WHOLE story that you wanted to make it as real as possible? I feel like if that was this case THIS last chapter was you getting tired of people whining about the angst and just giving them what they want or maybe your just tired of writing this story all together, but what do I know right...I only read FF...either way I must admit your writing is pretty good but like I said before I don't know I guess you could have gone another direction. Either way it's YOUR story and you'll write it as you see fit.

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  109. Oh man!  Good thing he's a vegetarian and didn't eat the Turkey.  Good thing also that Bella got there when she did! 
    He actually said the LOVE word outloud! There's hope for him still.  

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  110. *Runs around room cheering and pumping fist into the air like Rocky Balboa, then collapses on floor, panting*

    Damn, woman you nearly killed me after i read the tissue warning... I almost put off reading the chapter til tomorrow. Glad I didnt.

    ILY!!!!

    *still panting*

    Aaaaaand... I'm spent. xP <------That's me. I died. Lol

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  111.  Savage, you are a goddess. This is so, so amazing, and I can't believe how quickly you've been getting the chapters up. The downside of your prolific updates is that I now compulsively refresh your blog all day long waiting for new updates. You've got me (and the rest of the internet, apparently) obsessed!

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  112.  Ooh, you have a good one there with the "Volturi parole board". Well, except for the fact that all of the Volturi were killed off in the raid. You are spot on with Bella talking to the board though. Being the victim she would get to make a statement, and she could tell them that he's paid his due and needs to be released. Between Bella and Irina it would be doable, but only if Edward could forgive himself and realize that Bella needs him as much as he needs her. 

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  113.  You are killing me!!!  I was ready to rant about Edward's lack of letter writing before this chapter. Then I became incensed that you killed Charlie off instead of Alice.  Okay, Bella has a good excuse even though I find people who have a purpose do not get depressed to that degree.  Her purpose being seeing Edward. She acted like she had no power anywhere along the way of the trial - incarceration to see him.  Where there is a will, there is a way I tell you!!  Anyway, then I was in tears when Edward was going to kill himself (so glad there was no baby, BTW).  I am really really looking forward to your next update!!!

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  114. If you're writing it, you can have all the artistic license you want! Just saying.... Creativity is key.  I'm glad Bella showed up.  I would have hated for Edward to go out that way.  Good for both of them for owning up to the "I love you".  That needed to be said.   

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  115. I remembered something about Alice after reading your comment.  I think she's the one that had Seth watching Edward's back and arranged for Seth to "groom" Embry. I don't think she hates Edward just the choices he made, and she can't look like she's gone soft. She will probably arrange for the gang to do something to help E/B get set up when he gets out, but she would never admit to it. ;)

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  116. Holy Crap! That was a fucked up chapter! All I keep thinking about is what if she didn't make it in time? Poor Charlie & Poor Bella! It would have been nice if Alice or Rose checked in on her or at least gave her some of Edward's money that they stole. She at least deserved that for her troubles. I kind of feel like killing them now.  

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  117. This is probably the best chapter of this whole story.  I cried for Edward because I probably would have done what he did - I really get it.
    I haven't yet commented on this story but I feel the need to tell you that this has been an interesting and good addition to Twific.  I was seriously icked out when I first started to read this (I came to this from UC - that Edward squicks me out too).  My estimation of you went up dramatically with your recommendation of Katinki's awful but incredibly powerful slave story.  I don't know you so I didn't know at the time if you were doing the slave thing just to be salacious.   Anyway, you have dealt with this terrible topic in a semi realistic manner.  It ain't an easy HEA.  Good job.
    Now, the real reason I felt the need to review now is to say that I am absolutely disgusted with the reviewers that said that they were going to stop reading because Eddie went to jail or Alice (an assasin) was going to kill him or that Edward was raped.  Seriously people?  You were ok to keep reading this when Bella was getting Tased to the lady bits because she had tears in her eyes from choking on a sadist's penis?????  Really???  What happened to Bella should have stopped you from reading further - or is it ok with those people that it happened to the female lead and not the romantic male lead (who was truly a bad person until Bella came around)?   I have met some wonderful people in the Twific community but some of these people freak me the hell out.
    Anyway, thank you for taking time from your life to write this for us.  I have enjoyed the frequent small chapters - nice to not have to sit on the cliff for very long. 

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  118. I think you made a mistake in your previous a/n ... you said 100 chapters, but I think you meant to say 1000 ..... (a girl can dream, right?)

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  119. I'm writing (again) cuz I'm overtired, obsessed, and OCD about this story, and my mind's been postulating. So here's how I think it went down...
    Seth was one of Alice's goons, she just got tired of bailing him out, but he might still have contact with her, and happen to mention how Edward is feeling, and maybe said something about the letters from Bella.
    So Alice, or Rosalie, goes to see Bella to find out what she is doing writing to Edward, talks to her, and finds out that Bella did not come out of the situation so well, and that she loves Edward.
    So they give her the money for airfare so she can go see him (and get in a healthier frame of mind), and THAT'S how she got there.
    OK, just my crazy mind - the one that won't let me go to sleep for another hour or so, no matter how tired I am.
    Can't wait to see how you write it, Savage - it will be AWESOME!!!
     

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  120. I was hoping she would come to him. Now, who's going to hold me while I blubber like a baby? I can't wait to hear the adventures of Bella Swan in the next chapter. 

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  121. I couldn't see anymore to read... the tears were flowing so much. Bella must have sent the last letter before she got his letter. And came to see him right away. She does only work at the Library one day a month. I don't want this story to end so soon. Thank-you for for bringing Bella to see him and for allowing them to be open with each other about how they feel. I am so totally blown away right now...no pun intended. Thank-you so much... for everything. 

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  122. savage---All I can say is you're awesome! I read H&D (my first fan fic ever) last week and got totally sucked in. I started to read a fic by another author the end of last week and quickly dropped it to read this. You successfully blend a strong storyline with just the right amount of sex. Your characters are somehow OOC while still being strongly true to canon core character! I caught up to 'live' on this story Monday and thought I was going to die waiting for updates. I'm glad I won't have to suffer too much longer until I get to the end. I love your comments at the beginning and end of each chapter, they are icing on the cake and constantly make me laugh! Please keep writing more stories! Your loyal reader  -Mandy

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  123. I thought it was a beautiful chapter ... and yes... much more believable than a hybred baby.  LMAO ... guess that's why they call it fiction?! 

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  124. ***Screaaaaams!!!!!***  Wow.  I'm so tense from holding my breath.  Scrolling slowly so my eyes don't cheat & peek ahead.  Crushed when I see a sentence that says, "...right?" 

    Yes, I can suspend disbelief here.  Happily.  That girl must have just known, the very second she read his letter, that he'd be getting hers any day and would be ready to off himself because of it.  She didn't need Alice's visions for that!  If you need to rig a charity/turkey/puking/Irina-working-late-on-a-holiday event to put it to fruition, well, why the eff not?  I'm happy for the declarations FINALLY being spoken.  Tears finally being shed.  What am I going to worry about?  What comes next.  How reality impacts.  Gulp.  Please be nice to us, er, E&B.

    Thank You, dear Author.

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  125.   For a minute there I thought Edward was dead and seeing Bella in the afterlife! It really freaked me out! There is so much I want to say and yet I find it hard to express my feelings for this story. I love it and everything else you write and Ican't wait for your udates. 

     I know some left because of how Edward was treated in prison or because he pled guilty or for whatever reason they had but that's so rediculous because why didn't they leave when Bella was telling Edward what horrors she went through during her "training" from James and Aro? 

     I really hate it that this is going to end in a few chapters. I hope Edward gets sprung and they can have a HEA.

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  126. YES to you both!  I'm so, so glad I checked my laptop before going to bed...I'm usually reading on my iPhone while holding the baby.  Heaven knows it was better to read this chapter without that sweet girl in my arms.  Mommy wouldn't have been very attentive for a short bit...  And that perfect title of fic-pipe -- eeks!  Just today I told myself I should try to wean myself away & see if I can get back to "grown up" books...but damn if the pipe isn't easier too hold!  ;)

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  127. I loved this chapter so much I took it from the hubby so I could give you my thoughts and If you can write it than you can make it happen I can't wait for your next update thanks for sharing this with us and update when you can.... 

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  128. Okay so... she's not a figment of his imagination??  Bella IS REALLY there??

    You've made me sobbing blubbering mess.

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  129. I'm surprised to hear its reaching the end here soon too.

    I don't know how you're gonna wrap this up, but I'm waiting.... w/ some kleenex and a bowl of popcorn.

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  130. Thank you.

    I just read on your blog that this story should run through June!

    I can't fucking wait for mire! I always lived that about hide and drink. Just when you thought" good, he" s back". You added almost a whole other story with the voltufi.

    Can't wait to see what you have in store for us with this one,

    he told her he loves her, and she loves him. Everything else is just details, right?

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  131. Oh talk about tissue warning she came!

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  132. Crying here, too. Bella's letter, chock full of truth, then his utter sense of desolation and just giving up....all so sad.

    Well, I like your poetic license way more than the hybrid baby-thing.

    It's almost over!?!?! But how do they make it work? I know they've shared the ILY's, but he still has 6 years on his sentence, right?

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  133.  Well - you sure do know how to turn a story around!  Don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight in anticipation of the next chapter (hopefully chapters). 

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  134.  Maybe she got the insurance money, or maybe Irina contacted Bella's shrink and they worked something out to get Bella here. Maybe Bella will stay with Irina for right now. Just please make it a happy ending! Edward has been through so much (and so has Bella) Love  love love this story and your twisted mind! Perfect chapter. :-)

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  135.  BEST FUCKING BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS BETTER THAN SMUTTY GOODNESS AFTER A TWO YEAR DRY SPELL!

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  136. Super Bella saves the day, and just in the nick of time too. Hurray for Bella and for Irina holding the guards back.
    This chapter was really intense. For a moment I thought Bella was just a figure of his imagination, like Bella in New Moon when she would imagine Edward. I wonder if Irina helped in getting Bella there. My highlight in this chapter was when they told each other that they love the other.

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  137.  Brilliant update, thank you so much for writing.
    I was crying so hard when Edward was ready to pull the trigger, you sure know how to make us cry!
    Looking forward to tomorrows updates.
    love
    Irene
    xx

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  138. I see I'm not the only one who read this chapter with tears in my eyes!

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  139. I watch documentaries for realism ta very much. This was fantastic and not at all how I thought it would go. Tough to read through the tears. Poor Bella and poor Doofy. I knew from the start that this story was going to rival SB regarding how much love I have for it. 4 chaps to go? So many bad things can happen...but I'm trusting you ok? ;)

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  140.  Every morning, just arrive at the office, I read your updates. Well,now I'm crying and my colleagues are looking at way to know what to do or what to say. How do I explain to them that cry for a ff? lol
    This story is even more beautiful, I can not think it's almost the end!But there will be a happy ending, right? Please say yes! Bella andEdward have been through something really terrible, now deservea little happiness ...
    Savage you're a really good author, I love all your stories, but thiscame to me in my heart! I can't wait to read the next chapter! :)

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  141. YES! Bella to the rescue. I think this has to be one of the best chapters yet. 

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  142. I have a husband, four kids, and a full-time job. I NEED the fic-pipe.Do I have an addiction to fanfic? yeah. Do I want to be cured? no. My fic-pipe lets me get my fix anywhere--check-out line, red light, drive-thru...you get the picture lol. *I'm glad I'm not the only one ;) *

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  143.  this is truly the best chapter of the story .. and is far the best reunion ever .. like ever
    yeah u have me crying like i have been reading the last 5 or 6 chapters .. this was amazing
    i have a question though .. Edward got beaten and Seth saved him afterwords right ??
    was he raped ??? im chosing to believe that no he wasn't and that it stopped b4 it got to that point .. but i still need to know from u .. coz some of the reviewers act like he was and others act like he wasn't

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  144. Just read the last 3 chapters, and I cried. At work. By my desk. Sigh. Good thing I have the flue, good excuse for watery eyes and sniffly nose :) 

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  145. Tissue warning? Savage we are all gonna be in therapy at this rate! I really thought he was gonna pull the trigger, I almost couldn't read on. Thank Rob I did. So glad she arrived. I had to dry my face before I could read to the end of the chapter. The postal system has alot to answer for. I want to have a stern word with whoever delivers their post. Very stern. Please let them be together?

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  146. Hybrid baby indeed. I pictured a natural born killers scenario where they meet in the middle of chaos and run away in a hale of bullets. Quiet contemplation on his psych's floor is just as good. Also, much more conducive to a happy ending.

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  147. I agree with you 100%  I love this story but was absolutely disgusted with how many people flounced because Edward went to jail and the animosity towards Bella by readers was disturbing.  Good on you Savage for sending him to jail, he did the crime and needs to serve the time.    

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  148. OMG!   Totally did not see that coming but I am glad it came!  Poor Edward but I think he needed that.  He needed to be at the bottom so now he can work his way up and get better.  Not just from the Bella situation but his whole life...from his douchey parents to the non caring friends and girlfriends.  If I haven't said this before I love Irina!  She actually cared for him and helped him.  I'm gonna be so sad when this is done.  I think I will read it again with no interruptions!!!  Can't wait Savage!

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  149. I didn't think Edward was raped either..just thought he was beat up.  I thought Seth saved him 

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  150. omfg this has to be the best chapter yet!! i was so sure at first that he must've been dreaming but then i realised omg this is for real and thought...oh no it's gonna end soooo badly...crying so much for edward that he was gonna kill himself as a final redemption to what he did to bella and what he read in her letter which was obviously crossed by his. anyways i was absolutely rapt that she was actually there...i swear i was just beside myself with relief!! oh how wonderful that they were back in each other's arms and finally declared their ILY's..*sniff*!! how wonderful..bawling my frickin eyes out! *sigh* i need to go to sleep now!lol! i'm emotionally exhausted! thanx for that savage you fucking rock my socks off!

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  151. Thank God, its real!!! and not just a JR moment (homeage to Dallas).  I'm a sucker for a love story! 

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  152. GAH! I have now read these past two chapters like 4 times and have teared up every time! WOW! What a fucking roller coaster ride this story has been! Both their letters were heartbreaking, feel so horrible for what both of them have been through since they have been apart. But Edward trying to kill himself??!! Good lord I was beside myself! Literally bawling my eyes out that my husband said "what the hell is wrong with you?" HAHAHA Bella showing up just in time blew me away! I'm pretty sure Irina has something to do with Bella being there. I am so sad that this is just about over! I would love to see how the two of them handle the business of getting on with their lives after all the crap they have been through! FANTASTIC JOB!!!!!!!!!

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  153.  Really loved your artistic license! The reunion scene was beautiful, and I loved that it resembled cannon...

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  154. When I read how Edward felt before the reunion, I felt his despair very strongly, as if he has no place in his life, nothing left to lose, ruining everything he touches. It is a terrible feeling. You blew my mind with the way things changed in a second. Your writing is very intense! I hope Bella and Edward will find some peace. They have each other now and hopefully will help each other.
    I would like to say that some of the reviews before and after Edward went to jail upset me very much. The writers don’t own us anything. These stories aren't written for us, they are written, because someone needs to do this for himself. I am sorry that while writing this diffucult story, you had to go through all this madness.
     

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  155.  OK, so I spent the last day and half reading this story!! I was given the link because some one thought the way you put the manips in the story were amazing!! I have to agree but this story sucked me in!!! I stayed up half the night!! And my kids came out this morning to me crying!! This has been an amazing journey for both Edward and Bella and I can't wait to find out more!!!
    Sterryvit

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  156. Definitely the best chapter so far!!! Tissue warning was needed.... thank you. I loved that you didn't sugar coat prison life. This story has so many seedy things going on and you have written them as realistically as possible. Not everything is unicorns and rainbows...Great job.
     

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  157. I think Irina had a hand in this. Be really surprised if it was Alice or Rose. Perfect timing.  

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  158.  The Volturi Parole Board idea rocks! :)

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  159. THIS right here is why I don't review much: "Now, the real reason I felt the need to review now is to say that I am
    absolutely disgusted with the reviewers that said that they were going
    to stop reading because Eddie went to jail or Alice (an assasin) was
    going to kill him or that Edward was raped.  Seriously people?  You were
    ok to keep reading this when Bella was getting Tased to the lady bits
    because she had tears in her eyes from choking on a sadist's penis????? 
    Really???  What happened to Bella should have stopped you from reading
    further - or is it ok with those people that it happened to the female
    lead and not the romantic male lead (who was truly a bad person until
    Bella came around)?   I have met some wonderful people in the Twific
    community but some of these people freak me the hell out."

    Well said, Sillyvamp! Not very silly after all that has been said. Xo

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  160. OH FUCK...I thought we were going to have a Whiskey Lullabeye there for a minute...this chapter was unbelievably gut wrenching and still...at the end you managed to let us blow out our breaths...close one, Savage!  I absolutely LOVE this story...you're a magnificent writer with remarkable characters that just wrap their souls around one's heart!  This chapter moved me more than any of the others...thank you and cheers for your creativity and "artistic license"...sometimes miracles are meant to happen...and it appears Edward had his...cause damn if he doesn't deserve it!  And Bella also!  Love her! 

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  161.  God, I love you and I LOVE this chapter!

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  162.  I hav officially died!!!!!!!! Evn tho, i knew Eddie wudve nevr gotton the chance to pull that trigger.......IT STIL HAD ME ON EDGE!!!!! I had it in my mind that Irina wudve helped 2 get Bella out there but wat i din see was them arriving in the brink of time like that. WAW.....timin has 2 b evryting rite?!?!

    I cudnt help but snicker very loudly at the reference to New Moon in the end note there......after all those tears, u managed 2 help me crack a smile!!!!!!!

    SALVATION is HERE!!!!!!!!! *PRAISE GOD*
    Things shud only get betr from here rite?!?!? I tink i basically hav no heart or breath in my lungs left!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
    As @3469d9395d569494d3cc4a3d430a695e:disqus said and i already iterated......those ppl who stopped readin are UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!! First of all, ur story iz FICTICIOUS!!!!!! an i'm sure u in no way support any of the negatives in this story....ITS REALLY DISGUSTING!!!!!!!! Ppl need 2 grow da hell up, whether they like or not these tings happen in real life..........an we shud shudder at them then but this is solely imaginitive!!!!! Ur story is awesome n i'm glad u hav restraint against these ppl an not allowed them to alter the artisitc approach to ur story. U've held true 2 the plot and delivered a BRILLIANT STORY as such!!!!

    100 chapts?!?!?!? I'm sad but it all has 2 end right?!!?! On a gud note, i suppose!!!!!!

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  163. So perfect Savage..... so much more perfect of what I imagined!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You'll have something for this tonight! ;)

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  164. OH!  I'm just so freakin' happy.  I want to cry happy tears.  I can't believe you were able to pull off what might just be a happy ending.  Of course, you always seem to manage it...  Again, I was happy that Edward save Bella and found his humanity, the rest is just gravy for me.

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  165. I am glad she came for him.  I think she got his letter just in time. 

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  166. Omg. This chapter nearly ended me!!! I couldn't breathe reading the letter and then when he was holding the gun I was about to start crying and then Bella was there and all my emotions that this story causes me to feel came flooding through and I cried. Just. WOW.

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  167.  I LOVE artistic license;D)

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  168. Lolipop....your manips ROCK! 

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  169. You weren't lying about needing tissues. I'm all water works over here. Such a great chapter! 

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  170. O.0 AHHHH, Edward nearly killed himself!! After all these chapters, I'm still wondering if a blowjob is considered 'rape', if so I bet there would be a lot more people in jail. Hmmmm.

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  171. Surprisingly, this made me feel even worse! Not that I'm not happy he's alive but frankly, I don't think these years of misery has helped either of them! It was worse.. I think they would have been better together.. Not saying they didn't help, clearly they do but... gah! 

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  172. Fan...fuckin.....tastic!!!  Consider by disbelief suspended!!!

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  173. I had to stop reading as I couldn't see the screen for the tears in my eyes and had to go to the loo to blow my nose (shhhhhhhhh, hubby asleep beside me...)

    I really thought that Edward would pull the trigger - he has suffered enough!!!!!!!!

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  174. So rock bottom and the rebound. Finally these two are telling each other the truth about their feelings, but can there be for them now. How can Bella heal her problems? What kind of life could they have together once he gets out?

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  175. I agree.  Best chapter of the ENTIRE story!  Truly.  Who else can deaw out tears for Edwrad the way you can hmm?  Great stuff.

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  176. Bella should move on. Really, she should. There's just no possibility of a relationship here, one that's not entirely destructive for both of them. 

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  177. Haven't been able to comment on the last few chapters for some reason, but I have just barely been able to read them through the tears.

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  178. I don't care how you did it - it had me crying ;)

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  179. Well it's about dam time something happened at the right time for the right reason. I don't care if it doesn't make sense, it was needed! I was crying my eyes out when he had that gun in his hands, I don't care how she got there, she just better stay there for him!!!

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  180. Fabulous!! So perfect and better than the fountain.

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  181. LilacfieldsforeverJune 23, 2011 at 1:08 AM

    Right now I have tears running down my face. An amazing chapter to an amazing story.

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  182. Again, fucking love your attitude. Artistic license, indeed - yes, and of course! We are a crowd of people who all arrived here via a story about vampires. VAMPIRES. Please.

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  183. Fan...fuckin.....tastic!!!  Consider by disbelief suspended!!!

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  184. THIS right here is why I don't review much: "Now, the real reason I felt the need to review now is to say that I am
    absolutely disgusted with the reviewers that said that they were going
    to stop reading because Eddie went to jail or Alice (an assasin) was
    going to kill him or that Edward was raped.  Seriously people?  You were
    ok to keep reading this when Bella was getting Tased to the lady bits
    because she had tears in her eyes from choking on a sadist's penis????? 
    Really???  What happened to Bella should have stopped you from reading
    further - or is it ok with those people that it happened to the female
    lead and not the romantic male lead (who was truly a bad person until
    Bella came around)?   I have met some wonderful people in the Twific
    community but some of these people freak me the hell out."

    Well said, Sillyvamp! Not very silly after all that has been said. Xo

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  185. Hybrid baby indeed. I pictured a natural born killers scenario where they meet in the middle of chaos and run away in a hale of bullets. Quiet contemplation on his psych's floor is just as good. Also, much more conducive to a happy ending.

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  186. Crying here, too. Bella's letter, chock full of truth, then his utter sense of desolation and just giving up....all so sad.

    Well, I like your poetic license way more than the hybrid baby-thing.

    It's almost over!?!?! But how do they make it work? I know they've shared the ILY's, but he still has 6 years on his sentence, right?

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  187. *Runs around room cheering and pumping fist into the air like Rocky Balboa, then collapses on floor, panting*

    Damn, woman you nearly killed me after i read the tissue warning... I almost put off reading the chapter til tomorrow. Glad I didnt.

    ILY!!!!

    *still panting*

    Aaaaaand... I'm spent. xP <------That's me. I died. Lol

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  188. Locked in bathroom. Heart beating wildly. Ears ringing. Tears on face.

    I just read A Voice in the Darkness by Katinki. So you really really scared me since that recommended on your blog.

    Btw, the irony of everyone getting salmonella from the turkey did not get past me. So symbolic.

    Roshambo

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  189.  I knew you weren't going to kill him off, but I still heaved a HUGE sigh of relief when he gave up the gun. Bella is there, the ILY's have been said, and everything WILL be OK...in time.

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  190. Not since The Devil's Rejects have I cheered so hard for a bad guy! Slightly more realistic than a hybrid baby, baby I still think you're just being mean lately.

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  191. The tears are falling! I feel so bad for both these 2. "deep sigh" Thank you for giving them a reunion. Maybe that will give them both some peace. ......Karen

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  192. Oh my God I started crying at the beginning thinking he was going to pull the trigger. I was freaking out thinking he was going to die. I love Iriana now! Thank God Bella came and stop him. Aww they said I love you to each other. Thanks for the great writing.

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  193. You effing rock! Two great chapters.

    I will now cry because its almost over:(

    ~@shelgibson

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  194. Omg, so sad it came to that, but I guess happy tears. Hey it's FF you can write it how you want to. Thanks for the quick updtae.

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