Saturday, May 14, 2011

CBWR? Chapter 83

Author’s notes:
These boring author’s notes brought to you by the ladies of twitter, who really just wanted to get a good mental image of Edward coming before taking the whole thing out on their various significant others.  Poor guys.  They won’t know what hit them.
I loved her.
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Chapter 83
I sure as hell hoped it was okay to come in her because I was far, far beyond the point of no return.  Maybe if she had screamed at me to stop or something I could have ended it, but I probably would have made a mess all over the rose petals anyway. 
“Bella…I’m gonna…gonna…”
“Please!” she cried out as her hips bucked up against mine, and there was definitely no turning back then.  It just gets to a certain point and your body takes over, the sensations are too strong and you can’t completely stop.  Having my cock in the most incredible little sanctuary in existence certainly didn’t help my resilience.  Once the word please came out of her mouth, I was a goner.
My forehead was pushed against her shoulder, locked into the warm spot against her neck, and my hands gripped her hips.  I kept her anchored against me, as tightly as I could while still moving within her body when the feeling overcame me.
It had never, ever been like this.  I’d fucked lots of women, had great orgasms, and walked away without even remembering their names.  Right at that moment, I couldn’t remember my name, but I knew hers.  She was life, and body, and soul, and…God-damnit…she was love.  I knew exactly who had me inside of her.  I knew exactly who it was that – ironically enough – completely owned me.
Bella.
I loved her.
And what I was doing to her…no… with her…was not fucking.
I was making love to her, and it was most certainly my first time, just as it was hers.
The muscles in my shoulders ached with the exertion of holding myself in the same position for too long, and the ache was beautiful.   They also trembled in a way I didn’t recall ever feeling before.  It was not from overuse or lactic acid buildup – they just ached to touch her more, like there was no way I could ever get quite close enough to her to make it good enough.  My glutes, hip, and leg muscles all tensed and rippled as I slammed into her one more time, holding myself as tightly inside of her as possible.
If I could have opened my eyes, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to see.
The sensations flowed from my thighs into my balls, tightening them and clutching them against my body.  I felt the waves of intense feeling shoot out down my shaft and into her, coupled with the most intense emotional response I have ever felt. 
It was desire and protectiveness, lust and neediness – it was want and admiration, passion and frenzy – hunger, rapture…
It was everything.
I screamed.
One long, slow moan against her skin.
As my breath gave out, it sounded like a tearless sob.
Bella’s hand was in my hair still, holding me tight against her skin.  I felt her lips on top of my head as her other hand ran up and down my back.  After many, many minutes like that, I finally managed to push my weight off of her and look at her smiling face.
Her hand went immediately to my cheek, rubbing and caressing it with her fingertips.  There were rose petals fucking everywhere – not just stuck to various parts of the two of us, but all over the bed, the pillows, the floor, the nightstand – even one on the windowsill like it was trying to escape or commit suicide or something.  They looked even more like a fucking explosion than they had when I first put them out.
I reached out and knocked one of the silly things off of her hair and kissed her softly before rolling to the side and off of her.  I didn’t want to lose that contact, but I knew I was crushing her, and she was more important. 
I lay beside her and reached out for her hand.  Like I had the night before, I brought it to my chest, held it there a moment, then kissed the back of her knuckles before lying her palm against my cheek.  Bella obliged with a smile and a little shake of her head.  I looked at her and tried to thank her for what she gave me with my eyes, because I knew anything and everything that might have come out of my mouth would have been wrong.
There weren’t any words for this.
Not really.
Okay, I could have told her how I felt. I could have told her exactly what she meant to me – what I had realized when we were so intimately connected. 
I wanted to tell her.
I wanted her to know.
I knew I couldn’t say it.
So I didn’t.
I settled back against her and closed my eyes, reveling in the sensations of her hand against my temple, jaw and neck.  I inhaled the scent of her neck and wondered if smells were something you needed as badly as water or food, because I was pretty sure I could live off of her smell.  I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me, holding her within my arms and pretending – at least for the moment – that I was good enough for her.
Good enough to love her.
The night had been completely and totally perfect, and there was nothing that could have made it any better.  Even looking back and knowing what was to come I wouldn't have changed the placement of a single rose petal stuck to her shoulder blades.  Even if I had understood at that very moment that it would be our only night together, I still wouldn’t have changed anything.
I still wouldn’t have told her I loved her.
It would have only made things worse, right?
  ________________________________
Chapter end notes:
Leave me some love…or some panic…whatever you like.
Until tomorrow!
Savage – out.

135 comments:

  1. I love it and he loves her.. he is so sweet ... and i love your writing and it made me smile when it said that the petal was trying escape... :D

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  2. Um....seriously?  I don't know if I can read more if this is going to have a bad ending.  **sad face**

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  3.  Yeah, I think Im gonna go take another shower now... cause that previous one, with my fingers writing "Edward was here" is NOT enought...
    this was perfect... as much as i want to slap him and make him tell her he loves her, i know he wouldnt have. 
    AMAZING stuff!!! 

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  4. their only night together?!!! 

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  5. Ok panic...what was to come?! He is speaking hypothetically or is this a 'clue'?
    Then, poor doof. He really is a scared little kid. Feel bad for the doof. Want to snuggle the doof. Want the doof to snuggle me......

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  6. Great chapter and hopefully Bella will be able to know what Edward is feeling even though he can't say them. :(  It was still very hot & I loved it

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  7.  I'm really sad with what he said. The whole "pretending for the moment to be good enough for her", that was really sad :(. Can't wait till next update, I realllllly wanna see how he's going to handle Bellas leaving.

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  8. Aww, Edward. Figured he would finally come to that realization that he loved her. Maybe he should have let it slip what he felt. She may already know. Sounds like we are head for some not so happy times for him.

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  9. WTF? There one and only night together?
    What about HEA? I will read through all evils, all your other stories drought with angst, but only because I trust you to fix it, make it HEA!

    Don't let me be this invested only to be crushed. Real life has enough sadness!

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  10. Did you research male feelings during orgasm? Was your hubby helpful with the male perspective. I always wonder how female writer's are so descriptive about such things. Is this a weird question?

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  11.  I just like researching cocks. ;)

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  12. "Even if I had understood at that very moment that it would be our only night together, I still wouldn’t have changed anything."

    I'm definitely panicking... :'(

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  13.  absolutely fucking awesome. 

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  14.  Maybe he ought wait to tell her how he feels. He isn't exaclty a smooth talker. He does not have to be. He knows how to make a girl scream.

    She'd better figure out a way to keep Charlie from killing him.

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  15. Well I was all ready to go buy my first pack of ciggies and begin smoking tumors into my pristine lungs when I read that last part.

    Killed all the happy, the urge to smoke them if I had them, etc.  Ummm...thanks for that I guess?  You kick ass although -unlike your Twitter chicks- I am definitely not in the mood to fuck after this.  Find a dealer for some Xanax, yes.  Horny?  no.

    So it begins, I guess.  I hope that he at least can kill some fuckers? 

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  16. Nice! He loves her! I hope they don't get split up as I think at this point it will really hurt both of them. At least he has a good heart even though sometimes he dosent know how to show it! Not looking forward to Bella being dropped off at home. That will be a real tear jerker. Thanks for the update so late tonight! Have a good night!..... Karen

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  17. Aww... don't hide, it was perfect! 

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  18. Super awesome fucking hot birthday sex in Paris! Aww Edward can be so sweet sometimes. I hope that's not their last night together. They deserve a chance to have a real relationship without the fear that someone out to get them. Thanks for the great writing.

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  19. "Even if I had understood at that very moment that it would be our only night together..."  WTF??? What evil plot is running through your head, Savage? You're going to break them up??? Did you mean your little joke from before about the hotel blowing up? Sorry, but I NEED a HEA - you ALWAYS write one - even in Hide and Drink! Panicking now!

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  20. Oh please don't let this be the only night they have together. He ws so tender and loving with her and finally realized that he loves her. This can only be good, right? 

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  21. Fabulous chapter, but now I am freaking out! What comes next? I don't think I want to know

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  22. Savage...don't be savage.. Give them a way out... I'm bawling here.  
    there has to be a way... has to be...right?

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  23. So seriously - he screamedl - did she?  All she said was PLEASE! Come ON hopefully she got a good one!  

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  24. nicolecillen41090May 14, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    glad somone else caught that too... i hope it was hypothetical

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  25.  It sounds like he starts talking in past tense towards the end. It made me sad. The sex yumm! Anyway, I am starting to panic some. I guess we have to wait till tomorrow!!

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  26.  ugh, their ONLY night together...WHAT?

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  27. That was so beautiful that I almost cried.  But are you saying that was their only night together...ever?  Because if you are, I may cry anyway, and really with that one thought I ended this chapter, that was so wonderful, feeling very sad.  There are a lot of things that he could have and might have said, if he had opened his mouth, that might have ruined the moment.  But "I love you" was not one of them.  I really wish he had said it, especially if that may have been his only chance.   

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  28. Oh oh, something bad is coming, right?  I think she has feelings for him as well, or she wouldn't have wanted this "wedding night" so badly, or be so tender with him.  Even if they are separated, I think she will continue to feel the connection and...oh shit, please help out my poor Doofus!

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  29. What?!!!! freaking out here!!! their only night together??!! noooo!!! where is this going? I love this story as I do all of your stories,love your writing! cant wait to see what happens.....

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  30. Finally! Finally they did it. Thanks for the update.
    I just have to say that this line "even one on the windowsill like it was trying to escape or commit suicide or something." made me laugh so hard

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  31. *snort* You freakin crack me up!!! ILY

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  32. WTF? There only night together? Absolutely unacceptable. I know the shit is about to hit the fan but come on! They end up together and happy....right? *squeaks*. Maybe he is telling the story now and at some point he will switch to present tense? And then he will go on in current time? Please?

    Edward, you should have told her. That was beautiful and so sad at the same time.

    Shay, please give them an HEA!!!

    Roshambo

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  33. She called Charlie while she was at the spa.

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  34. LOL, glad I wasn't the only one!  His name just wasn't fucking long enough... just like a damn man, lol.
     

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  35. hoping he just means it was awesome and wouldn't change anything if it were meant to be their only time.... i don't know... i think you've got us all going now though 

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  36. Glad I was three glasses of wine in to the bottle when I read this.  I didn't read too much in to the whole 'only night together' thing.  If I were sober I'd be worried, but I'm a happy drunk, so I choose to see it as just a figure of speech...  (crosses fingers, eyes, toes, and legs) 

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  37. TIMING IS EVERTHING DOOFUS!  NOW WAS THE TIME TO TELL HER HOW YOU FELT!!!
    Ok, rage over.  What do you mean it is the last time? STARTING TO PANIC!!

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  38. Panicking. Definitely panicking. This moment was so beautiful... you've redeemed him... don't mess them up, please!

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  39. What? Not the NM separation...omg! Anything but that Savage.  GREat chapter. 

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  40. Ditto on the panic thing. 

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  41. Me too! I'm skerred! What does that mean bb? What does that mean? Great job on the deflowering of Bella AND Edward. He made love for the first time. Saweet!

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  42. It's interesting isn't it how in the beginning we were all worried about this Edward and  weren't sure if we could like him... depending on what he was going to do to Bella... make her do, some of us even hated him anyway even when he didn't force her and promised her he wouldn't hurt her some of us still put him down just for the hell of it. And now it seems that every one of us is so worried about Edward  getting hurt, getting his big heart broken, being left again, all alone in the world. Their making love and all his loving thoughts/feelings about Bella and realization that it was the first time that he has made love and all her loving touches and smiles... so reasuring in return. Well you gave Bella and Edward a perfect day and a perfect birthday and a perfect night of firsts for both of them. Thankyou for that. It definately brought tears to my eyes when you said it would be their only time  together . I don't know if you were serious or not, I hope not. I think it would break my heart, some.  Thanks at least for the one perfect day... at least. (Still hoping for more, though.)

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  43.  Telling her may be the one thing that will make her stay.  Without his love, what does she have?  And we know that ladies need to hear it, not see it or feel it but FREAKING hear it EDWARD!!!

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  44.  Really, really, really trying not to panic!! And not doing a good job at it. So I decided to look for the hidden messages the phrase "only night together" might hide. Could it be only night in Paris? Before going back home? Before reality catches up? It has to be something like this, right?!?!?!?!?!? Please pretty, pretty please covered in rose petals while trying to convince the suicidal ones to change their minds...Amazing BTW ;)

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  45. How is it that you manage to make me have so many emotions in such a short chapter?

    “…even one on the windowsill like it was trying to escape or commit suicide or something.”  Me = LOL! “I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me, holding her within my arms and pretending – at least for the moment – that I was good enough for her.” Me = Sad :-( “Even if I had understood at that very moment that it would be our only night together, I still wouldn’t have changed anything.” Me = Enter panic mode!
     
    “I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me, holding her within my arms and pretending – at least for the moment – that I was good enough for her.” Me = Sad :-(
     
    “Even if I had understood at that very moment that it would be our only night together, I still wouldn’t have changed anything.” Me = Enter panic mode!

    I know she has to go back to her family and maybe that's what he meant in that last line but this is Doofus we are talking about, he might do something really stupid to "help" her to forget him.

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  46. I'm replying to myself now how pathetic is that? Just wanted to say I feel all sad now, as I wipe another tear from my cheek... 

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  47. I am hoping for a HEA here....I think I need a drink..so so good though.  Thanks for that. Waiting patiently to see what happens next. 

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  48. Just please tell me the rose petal that was trying to jump is ok.  I'll be up all night thinking about it. 

    heeheehee...
    Sadly I am without husband tonight and I need to go watch Fight Club or something now to get my mind off the sexing....
    Sigh...
    (Yes I realize watching Fight Club probably won't help.)

    Good night! 

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  49. She knows he loves her... He doesn't have to say it. He just physically showed her how much he loves her... Something he's never been able to do before.

    But WTF??? What kinda shit rainstorm are you sending our way that this will be their only night together????

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  50. Duuuude, really? You can't do me like that, sister! Nuh uhh! Say it ain't so! We're doing HEA on this shit. Right? RIGHT?!? Kidding aside, the last few chapters have been all sorts of awesome. And my SO thanks you too! (wink, wink)

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  51. **Panic Mode** 

    Is the 'Even if I had understood at that very moment that it would be our only night together' thing a hypothetical scenario in his head, or is this actually going to be the case?  Argh!  I'm scared now, Savage! 

    This line, though:  'She was life, and body, and soul, and…God-damnit…she was love.'  Yeah, that one, I like.  I knew he'd figure it out sooner or later.  I just hope it's not too late....

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  52. I'm so glad to have you back here.  Personally, I think Bella would have loved to hear him say it.  But then, you have a plan, I expect.
     

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  53. Okay. So I'm trying really hard not to freak the hell out, because I completely trust you... really I do. There is a tad bit of panic creeping in though. I'll try and keep my cool because you've never let me down before. Awesome chapter! Thanks!

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  54. Aw shit.

    I knew something bad was coming... :( *buries face in hands*

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  55. PANIC..... *panting*.... *panting*.... it's 12:52am.. it's oficially TOMORROW.. *gasps for breath*.... oh Savage..   @MoniNP 

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  56. cullencougerwannabeMay 14, 2011 at 11:05 PM

    Wow! **fans self** That was freakin' INTENSE!! And now I'm freakin' FREAKING!! "...it would be our only night together,"!?!?!?! WTF!! Please say it ain't so! My fragile heart is in your hands, Savage. Please don't crush it!!!  

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  57. Wait, this is their only night together, for real?????

    NO'!''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No way!!!! That is so unfair, after all they have been through together. Promise me. Please. A million more nights together.

    Dufus is so sweet. He's fabulous.

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  58. Oh shit! Had me in tears there for a bit, then a chuckle at the petal/suicide comment, and then BAM just jerk me right out of my little bubble of happiness with that past tense talk. Yeah, caught that. I had to re-read about ten times for it to really sink in that it wasn't some other meaning. Gah, poor Doofy. Gonna go drink now. Alot. *hangs head and walks to wine cabinet*

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  59. omg savage..........I hope he doesn't let her go w/o telling her his true feeling. Do we get Bella's POV of her first time???
    I hope so. Thanks for  writing this story.

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  60. Oh, no....please say it ain't so!  This isn't going to be their only night together....PLEASE!  I'm gonna bawl like a baby! 

    xoxo (pleading) Sus 

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  61.  "It was desire and protectiveness, lust and neediness – it was want and admiration, passion and frenzy – hunger, rapture…" - wow!
    From Edward's thoughts at the end of the chapter it feels like something will happen soon and they won't be together anymore. So sad! I think that Edward wouldn't tell Bella that he loves her, because he thinks that he isn't good enough for her and doesn't want her to feel bad, if she leaves him.  

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  62. uh!!! was that foreshadowing there at the end lady? no fair!!!!

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  63. The rose petal on the windowsill is why I love you. That, and your fucked up Edwards and your twisted violence and your emo smut and your humor and your dedication to your stories and fans. Wow guess those two weren't the only ones to get oxytocin out of that, huh? I said it from the beginning: I'll follow you wherever you go.

    mad <3

    greengrsshppr

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  64. Panic? 

    PANIC?!

    Do we  have reasons to panic?! 

    Oh , crap!  I  dont want to see.

    Just tell me when the bad part is over, OK?

    - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    : )




     

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  65. Ah, Shay, I know you'll sort all this out, you always do. I'm actually not even fussed about whether they stay together or not. You gave them one completely and utterly perfect day/night together, and sometimes that's all one gets. At least they got that. Thank you. Mwah

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  66.  Oh bb!! what can I said? wonderful, fantastic! one of the best lemons ever!! the story is great, I love it! you are a great writer! but I have to say you are evil....what do you mean with "even if I had understood at that very moment that it would be our only night together..." what do you meant with that? ummm....I don't trust you. Anyway  I hope it will be alright for you I'll post in my blog the banner of the story.  I hope it will be alright for you I'll post in my blog the banner of the story. 

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  67. You are amazing Savage BUT you are a little minx.  You know leaving us with the line 'our only night together' is going to get us screaming 'Noooooooooo'. I am hoping/praying that this comment is a reflection by Edward when Bella has returned home and not at the end of the story.
    BTW one hell of a deflowering.

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  68. WHAT?!!!! Only night together!!! NO! I know your stories aren't fluffy and pretty but I am freaking out here. It can't be, I starting to think he is going to end up dead or something :(

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  69. Awwwwww. Those finals words definitely left me feeling apprehensive for their story....and sad. After such an emotional revelation for Edward, it does seem sad that he gives it up. I do understand that to really have it - for Bella to willing want to be with and have a life with him - she has to be the one to chose it. What's that expression about loving something and setting it free to really get it?

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  70. Edward did good making love to Bella and taking her virginity!! But what the wholly hell on wheels are you pullin with this story that this may or will be their only time together and he has all of these amazing feelings that he has for her that he has never felt before for anyone and he can't even share them cause he knows its gonna be over or because he is too scared. I am scared to death what the hell you are going to do with Doofus!! I just started loving him myself and if you are going to kill him off.. this will be my running a close runner up for favorite story with the suckiest ending ever..please don't..please..please. Edwards O was to revealing for him and me for him not to experience more and feel true love!!! Give him that chance to have more!!! Thanks

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  71.  YES YES YES

    NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!

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  72. Now that was beautiful, even if the last part scares the shit out of me. Doofus needs her now. She is the first woman he loves, she just can't leave.

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  73. Panic .. panic panic paniccccccccc
    only night together ??? NO .. nooooooooo
    IT WAS TOOOOOO PERFECT .. OMGGG OMG
    ok here's some love coz u truly deserve it .. it was perfect and amazing and he's amazing .. omg
    what happens next :(:(:(:(:( 

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  74. no tell her you love her

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  75. GASP!! Oh no you didn't just say their only night! What? WHAT? Def panicking hree! 

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  76. stop panky everyone he think that she wanted a wending night so there for will not want to do it again lol he in for a shock! now Bella she will just jump him, plus he think still that she going to leave him, he try to protcet himself by not tell her he love her. but i think she does. :) come on savage tell them they are going to grow old ogether right, (please say i am right i gues only time will tell)

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  77. First..... Sweetest chapter ever. Loved it love you
    Second..... I really want a HEA so if you could just wrap this up by them reining to Forks and charlie being pissed and not trusting edward got Ppa couple of months and them him being like the dad edward never had and loving him that would me awesome. Feel free trip use whatever creative licensing you need to reach that point:)

    T.hird.... *sigh* ...... Ignore my second point and please continue on your merry way bc I know whatever you have in mind is infinitely better. But ty...I will now be stressing about this during church mind you!

    ~ @shelgibson

    ps... Please don't hurt him too much!!! (keep sorry that was my last desperate plea)

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  78. oksy i told you on the last chapter that you were evil and you have now confirmed it!!! you are so not going to do that are you?  and ed you are a butt if you told her you loved her she might not leave you....you are sooo wrong...damn please please write more!!!!!!!  by the way your love scene with them was beautiful and you made the feelings really real! 

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  79.  The screen was closed, so the petal was safe.

    Love fight club!

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  80. OK, Edward, you're still an idiot.  Girls like to hear those words.

    And...I maybe a little bit panicked.  Or a lot a bit panicked.  By the implication that this could be it for them.

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  81.  Um that last larger of paragraphs has me very concerned. But otherwise, I don't believe you that guys could even begin to understand the emotions and true value of how you described the new sensations. Maybe I don't believe in true, honest or divine love from a guy. Ha. I guess that is my issue to deal with. But still, written how I hope for life and people to be.

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  82. Ok, I trust you Savage, which is why I am not running off in a tizz at the moment...  but I am really worried about Doofy :-(  Can't wait for next update!

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  83.  OMG really?? their last night together? you are killing me..they need to be together! he needs her!

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  84. Oh Doofus.. you finally are able to admit that you can feel love and you are going  to hide it ? From the one person who would understand more than anyone ? Sigh. ...
    Savage you are killing me. He NEEDS her... please let them work out - somehow.....
    If he has her he has a shot at redemption.. at a real life. She can make him be a better man - he already is. He has the potential and she can see it. She can forgive- she already has. - Can he forgive himself and accept love ?

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  85. *crying* i can't take it anymore. edward not knowing love and what to do. i better go read for my history exam because i'll start reading the story all over again. Please, before she goes to her parents let him tell her that he loves her. Even if he is sleeping he could say "i love you bella" and she might hear.

    oh and, i still have problems with blogger....its a miracle i found this page.....

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  86. panic setting in I don't want anything to happen to them now they have come so far 

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  87.  I'm not panicking - yet - because it's only in his head that they aren't going to be together. She haven't spoken her part yet, and I doubt very much that he'd refuse her if she says she wants him to remain her husband in real life. So, yeah, I'm living in denial for now :)

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  88. Uh oh only night together???? How adorably emotional is Edward :))) who would have know he would go from a bj fiend to a mush :))) I love the description of the petals :))

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  89. MAL's review brought "Steel Magnolias" to mind - "I'd rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." - So this is Doofy's "30 minutes of wonderful?" And fantastic chapter - very moving and the petal on the ledge was an interesting detail - foreshadowing?

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  90.  I can't believe I fucking went to sleep and missed this!  OMFG THIS WAS GREAT!  Oh Edward, you my friend need to tell that woman you love her.

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  91. WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN??? Im freaking out over here!!! 

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  92. Now that was one fucking awesome orgasm!  It was intense, it had so much meaning and I am praying that it was not the only one he will ever have with her....it's not the only one right Savage!  But just want to say you did not disappoint!  Totally worth the wait..thank you
     

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  93. i just needed the comments to be an even 100

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  94. I do not think the situation gets worse if Edward tells Bella he loved her.
    He needs to stop assuming always the worst...He has much negativity in his head
    Poor guy!

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  95. Even if I had understood at that very moment that it would be our only night together, I still wouldn’t have changed anything. - wait, what?!

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  96. Wait.....what. Their only night together? nonononononononono

    Tell her....just tell her. She might just feel the same.

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  97.  Ok so the only night together ting is freakin me sooooooooooooo out!!!!! But Eddie's CAPITAL O was so fcukin PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!! first time love making for the 2 of them was jus tooo EPIC!!!!!!!! But after that awesome LOVE MAKING, u send me str8 into PANIC MODE.......Happiness really doesnt last does it?!?!? Damnnnnnnn *sighhhhh*

    I so cant shake the feelin dat B's sooooo gonna get pregnant 4 this dude.......*jus sayin*

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  98. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH wonderful!!!!!  Terribly sorry didnt review on every chapter - was on holiday and only read chapters on phone - yes even on holiday - you think ill miss your story - absolutely no way!!!!  GREAT Chapters!!!!!! xoxoxox I SO LOVE YOU!~!!!!  Lets hope he doesnt say something stupid now ..... to make her think he feels anything less..

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  99.  Ohhhh poor Edward....  I leave you love bb!

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  100. "Even if I had understood at that very moment that it would be our only night together, I still wouldn’t have changed anything."  OH SHITE!!!  You are a heartless byotch!! ;D  lol  Alright, maybe not, but since I didn't notice the angst category.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  You do a fabulous job of making the glorious moment make what sounds like is on the horizon even scarier and probably more poignant.  Wonder if he's going to die for her, or just give her up.   Really trying HARD not to think she's the one that's going to die for him.  It'd be like her though.  O-O

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  101. omg that was worth the wait,  are they going to be seperated,oh no?

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  102. Woah woah woah! We are going to have some problems.
    Is this your way of telling us that the shit is about to hit the fan. I'm totally not cool with that. 

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  103. "I loved her.And what I was doing to her…no… with her…was not fucking.I was making love to her, and it was most certainly my first time, just as it was hers" -- Damn straight. Doofy, you were doing sofa king good too and then you had to go and say that you would never tell her that you loved her! WTF?! *sob*
     

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  104. oooookaaaay what's this about 'our only night together!' omg starting to panic here not a little but afuckinglot!!! although i love the girls from twitter for encouraging you to
    give us edwards whole experience with bella!! and whoa it had my libido doing flips and somesaults and had me running for the frickin cold shower!! my gawwwwd you have such a way with words!!lol!! mmmmmhmmmm!

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  105. PANICKING PANICKING AS HARD AS I CAN!

    Don't you dare make this a tragic ending, don't you dare Savage! I guess I shouldn't say that as you are the sort of person who'd just become more resolved to do exactly that when someone says 'don't'. So I shall beg instead, please please please give us a HEA with them together.  They've been through so much. :(

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  106. Oh, your pen-name was never so apt - you are so savage with us!  You just had to do it, didn't you?  Lull us into a false sense of security with all the hot lovin' then lay your lethal trap for us to fall into.  Too cruel!

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  107. only night together? oh poor edward! 

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  108. OK, what about some love & panic? I really loved all of Edward's
    realizations, the main and most important one being that he loves her.


    But I got panicked when he thought they'd only have this one night together,
    and it would have only made things worse if he told her he loved her.


    Knowing Bella, she only wanted this night with him because she loves him.
    She wouldn't have given herself to him otherwise, and I'm pretty sure she wants
    a future with him. That calms me down.
     

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  109.  Wow. You were kidding about this chapter, not that expected you to be. That was very, wow. You have me worried... thankfully the next chapter is just one little click away.~Jessi

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  110. Say What?
    Awe, he finally got it right. ;D(

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  111.  But, but he loves her...

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  112. I LOVED this chapter. The fact that there was no dialogue was perfect. After such an intimate moment between the two of them no words were needed. Beautiful. 

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  113. -.- when has telling someone you love them been a bad thing?

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  114.  It's panic because I'm realizing there aren't many chapters left and how will they work it all out?!?!?!?! sniff sniff

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  115. Only night together??? Don't do it...please don't do it!!  Ok I realise thst there is not much point in my pleading as this fic is already finished as i write this but hey?

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  116. I was with you until that last part. Was he being hypothetical or do they have flights returning to the US the next day. Oh boy, shit hits fan!

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  117. Oh My Savage Darling,
    Fuck 69, give me 83!  And Edward.  Grrrrrr!  Meeeooowww!  It give me great joy to have found this story again.  Silly me, I must not have been paying proper attention.    Don't worry, I won't let it happen again.
    Thank You,
    kitty j

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  118. What do you mean - their only night together . . . what happens????

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  119. Last night? And he wouldn't still wouldn't have told her he loved her? Yeah, we can not call him a douche anymore. He is growing and changing and good. Even though he doesn't think he's good enough, he is. Now give him a break!

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  120. Oh I knew the heart fail had to follow.

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  121. Oh come on.... You can't do that to him...he just realized he loves her!!!!

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  122. i just needed the comments to be an even 100

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  123. Uh oh only night together???? How adorably emotional is Edward :))) who would have know he would go from a bj fiend to a mush :))) I love the description of the petals :))

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  124. Awwwwww. Those finals words definitely left me feeling apprehensive for their story....and sad. After such an emotional revelation for Edward, it does seem sad that he gives it up. I do understand that to really have it - for Bella to willing want to be with and have a life with him - she has to be the one to chose it. What's that expression about loving something and setting it free to really get it?

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  125. She called Charlie while she was at the spa.

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  126. Super awesome fucking hot birthday sex in Paris! Aww Edward can be so sweet sometimes. I hope that's not their last night together. They deserve a chance to have a real relationship without the fear that someone out to get them. Thanks for the great writing.

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  127. Lol at the suicidal rose petal!

    What an emotional orgasm! Whew!!

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