CBWR? Chapter 83

Author’s notes:

These boring author’s notes brought to you by the ladies of twitter, who really just wanted to get a good mental image of Edward coming before taking the whole thing out on their various significant others.  Poor guys.  They won’t know what hit them.

I loved her.

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Chapter 83

I sure as hell hoped it was okay to come in her because I was far, far beyond the point of no return.  Maybe if she had screamed at me to stop or something I could have ended it, but I probably would have made a mess all over the rose petals anyway. 

“Bella…I’m gonna…gonna…”

“Please!” she cried out as her hips bucked up against mine, and there was definitely no turning back then.  It just gets to a certain point and your body takes over, the sensations are too strong and you can’t completely stop.  Having my cock in the most incredible little sanctuary in existence certainly didn’t help my resilience.  Once the word please came out of her mouth, I was a goner.

My forehead was pushed against her shoulder, locked into the warm spot against her neck, and my hands gripped her hips.  I kept her anchored against me, as tightly as I could while still moving within her body when the feeling overcame me.

It had never, ever been like this.  I’d fucked lots of women, had great orgasms, and walked away without even remembering their names.  Right at that moment, I couldn’t remember my name, but I knew hers.  She was life, and body, and soul, and…God-damnit…she was love.  I knew exactly who had me inside of her.  I knew exactly who it was that – ironically enough – completely owned me.

Bella.

I loved her.

And what I was doing to her…no… with her…was not fucking.

I was making love to her, and it was most certainly my first time, just as it was hers.

The muscles in my shoulders ached with the exertion of holding myself in the same position for too long, and the ache was beautiful.   They also trembled in a way I didn’t recall ever feeling before.  It was not from overuse or lactic acid buildup – they just ached to touch her more, like there was no way I could ever get quite close enough to her to make it good enough.  My glutes, hip, and leg muscles all tensed and rippled as I slammed into her one more time, holding myself as tightly inside of her as possible.

If I could have opened my eyes, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to see.

The sensations flowed from my thighs into my balls, tightening them and clutching them against my body.  I felt the waves of intense feeling shoot out down my shaft and into her, coupled with the most intense emotional response I have ever felt. 

It was desire and protectiveness, lust and neediness – it was want and admiration, passion and frenzy – hunger, rapture…

It was everything.

I screamed.

One long, slow moan against her skin.

As my breath gave out, it sounded like a tearless sob.

Bella’s hand was in my hair still, holding me tight against her skin.  I felt her lips on top of my head as her other hand ran up and down my back.  After many, many minutes like that, I finally managed to push my weight off of her and look at her smiling face.

Her hand went immediately to my cheek, rubbing and caressing it with her fingertips.  There were rose petals fucking everywhere – not just stuck to various parts of the two of us, but all over the bed, the pillows, the floor, the nightstand – even one on the windowsill like it was trying to escape or commit suicide or something.  They looked even more like a fucking explosion than they had when I first put them out.

I reached out and knocked one of the silly things off of her hair and kissed her softly before rolling to the side and off of her.  I didn’t want to lose that contact, but I knew I was crushing her, and she was more important. 

I lay beside her and reached out for her hand.  Like I had the night before, I brought it to my chest, held it there a moment, then kissed the back of her knuckles before lying her palm against my cheek.  Bella obliged with a smile and a little shake of her head.  I looked at her and tried to thank her for what she gave me with my eyes, because I knew anything and everything that might have come out of my mouth would have been wrong.

There weren’t any words for this.

Not really.

Okay, I could have told her how I felt. I could have told her exactly what she meant to me – what I had realized when we were so intimately connected. 

I wanted to tell her.

I wanted her to know.

I knew I couldn’t say it.

So I didn’t.

I settled back against her and closed my eyes, reveling in the sensations of her hand against my temple, jaw and neck.  I inhaled the scent of her neck and wondered if smells were something you needed as badly as water or food, because I was pretty sure I could live off of her smell.  I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me, holding her within my arms and pretending – at least for the moment – that I was good enough for her.

Good enough to love her.

The night had been completely and totally perfect, and there was nothing that could have made it any better.  Even looking back and knowing what was to come I wouldn't have changed the placement of a single rose petal stuck to her shoulder blades.  Even if I had understood at that very moment that it would be our only night together, I still wouldn’t have changed anything.

I still wouldn’t have told her I loved her.

It would have only made things worse, right?

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Chapter end notes:

Leave me some love…or some panic…whatever you like.

Until tomorrow!

Savage – out.