Tuesday, May 3, 2011

CBWR? Chapter 69

Author’s notes:
If you were confused by Bella’s reaction, don’t worry about it.  It’s not that you missed anything anymore than Edward did, because all you know is what he knows, and he’s a little dense in this whole “relationship” thing…just in case you hadn’t noticed.
“I won’t push it,” I told her.
Chapter 69
I had no idea how long I had been sitting there before I ran out of cigarettes.  I had mostly sobered up, at least.  Bella was still in the bathroom, and the hour was getting late.  Without smoking to keep me occupied, I decided to bite the bullet and try to apologize for whatever the fuck I had done.  If nothing else, I had to pee…again.
After ten minutes of begging her to come out, then threatening the break down the door, she finally emerged, red eyed and sniffing.  Of course, once she was out, I had no idea what to say to her.  I was pretty sure whatever came out of my mouth would be the wrong thing to say, so again I was silent at first.  Bella walked past me and went to the little dresser against the wall, pulled out some sweats and a T-shirt, and then went back into the bathroom, but only for a minute.
I sat down on the edge of the bed, wondering if I could call room service and order up another pack of smokes.  Bella had already been wrinkling her nose at the smoke-filled room, so maybe that wasn’t the best plan.  Besides, my throat kind of hurt. 
“I’m going to choke on the smoke in here,” Bella remarked, confirming my suspicions that additional cigarettes would not be welcome.
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
“Have you been smoking for the last two hours constantly?”
“Pretty much.”
I watched her walk over to the little vanity with her hairbrush in hand.  I thought about telling her I ended up having to pee in the sink when she wouldn’t come out, but figured that course of action probably wasn’t any better than the acquisition of smokes.  I didn’t want her to be even madder at me, though I didn’t know what difference it was going to make now.
“I’m sorry,” I finally said again.
“For what?” she glanced over at me, then went back to brushing.
Damnit, if I had to figure out exactly what I was supposed to apologize for, I’d go buggy.  Couldn’t I just offer a blanket “for anything and everything” apology?  If I had to list all my transgressions, we’d be here all night and into the next day.
“Whatever I did that made you mad?”  It ended up sounding like a question.
Bella sighed and put the brush down.
“How did you know about my dad?”
“The picture from the first article I found,” I replied.  She looked over at me, confused.  “He was wearing a uniform.”
“Oh…I didn’t notice.”
“You’re probably used to seeing it.”
“True.”
Bella fiddled with her hairbrush for a while.  I watched as she flipped it back and forth between her hands, then took a deep breath.
“I thought you guys might kill me,” Bella said softly.
What?”
“If you knew my dad was a police officer,” she clarified.  “I know you guys don’t like police – I mean, that’s part of being a crime lord, isn’t it?  I thought if you knew about him…”
“I wouldn’t hurt you,” I said softly.  “I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.”
“I know.”  She walked over to the bed and sat down beside me.  “I’m sorry too.”
“Why?”
“For slapping you.”
“Oh.”
“I shouldn’t have,” she went on.  “It’s just…none of this is funny to me.  And I really haven’t thought too much about…well, I haven’t thought past the next few days, you know?”
I nodded, though I really had no idea.
“I guess I was thinking maybe we’d still…I don’t know…see each other?  I hadn’t really thought about how Charlie would react to you.”
“Charlie?”
“My dad.”
“Oh.”
“Even if we could somehow keep him from knowing about,” she waved her hand in the air, “all of this, he’d still check up on you, wouldn’t he?  My guess is if he did a background check he probably wouldn’t like what he found.”
“Probably not,” I said with a nod.  “I’ve never been convicted of anything, but I’ve been investigated plenty of times.  I’m sure he would have the resources to come up with some of that.”
We sat in silence for a minute.  She was stuck with me for now, and she knew it, but she wouldn’t be for much longer.  A few days at most.  After that…well, she shouldn’t have to worry about after that.
“I won’t push it,” I told her.
“Won’t push what?”
“Seeing you after all of this is over.”  I turned towards her.  My next words were going to just about kill me, but I didn’t want her to think I would pursue this.  “I won’t get in the way of your life.  I know you…don’t want anything to do with me now, and I want you to know that I won’t try to stop you…from leaving.”
“Edward, I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“You were…angry.”  I closed my eyes for a minute.  “You don’t…want me anymore.  I know you…you hate me again.”
“I was angry,” she admitted.  My chest tightened up again.  “But that doesn’t mean I hate you now!”
She pulled her leg up underneath her and twisted around to face me completely.  She grabbed my hand and held onto it.
“We had an argument, Edward,” she said.  “I was angry, but I’m not now.  I also overreacted, and I’m sorry about that.  It doesn’t mean I hate you now.”
“It doesn’t?”  I was so fucking confused at this point I couldn’t even think straight.  Fights lead to being left – that was just how it worked.  You had a fight, and then she walked out.  That was life.
Bella’s hand came up and touched the side of my face.
“I care about you, Edward,” she whispered.  “That doesn’t change just because you drank too much and I got mad.  I still care, and I’m not going to just walk away from you because of it.”
My eyebrows strained together as I tried to comprehend what she was saying.
“All the others did,” I said.  “They all left.”
“I’m not them,” she replied before her lips met with mine.
In a complete daze, I kissed her back, instantly ecstatic that this simple act – one I had never appreciated in the past – had not been lost to me forever.  We kissed slowly, and briefly, but it seemed in that moment, everything was all right again.
Bella pulled back, her hand dropping slowly from my face to my shoulder, and then down my arm.
“You smell like smoke,” she announced with raised brows.  “This whole place smells like smoke.  I’m going to air it out – you go shower.  After that, we’ll talk some more.  Okay?”
I wasn’t about to argue.
While the steam from the hot water rose up around me, I tried to figure out just what the hell had happened since dinner.  She was mad…so mad she had slapped me.  Surely if she was that pissed off she wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me.  Did she just mean she wouldn’t leave me for now?  But that wasn’t right, either – like she had said, her father would check me out.  Once he did – even without a conviction – there was no way he was going to let me near his daughter.  I also didn’t want to come between her and her parents – I had done plenty on that front already.  She also still had a year of high school left, and lived roughly three thousand miles away from me.  I would move – that didn’t bother me in the least – but what difference would it make?  I was not about to let her sneak around behind their backs to see me.
Was there any way I could possibly make myself acceptable in her parent’s eyes?  I could turn over my less that legitimate business ventures to someone else, move my tech company to Seattle, and attempt to establish a normal life, couldn’t I?  I had more money than I would ever be able to spend.  I would be able to take care of her.  Wouldn’t that count for something?
There had to be a way to make this work, right?
Chapter end notes:
Is there hope?
I know, I know...I should ahve had oral in chapter 69.  Sorry about that. ;)
Might update again tonight…maybe. 

71 comments:

  1. So there is hope after all...maybe lol

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  2. He is just so confused, but he's learning. Loved his comment about not knowing what to be sorry FOR...poor doofus...

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  3. still no lemons!!!!!!!!!!!! come one!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

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  4. At this point I don't even miss the lemon, I just want a chance at a normal life for them!

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  5. Ahhh I love this. And support no lemons yet the higher the ust the better the first time. Plus...I msn really. She was a sex slave...it might take some time.

    love this! ~ shelgibson

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  6. He is sweetest Edward ever! :D I love this ..

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  7. There is always hope. Even for those two. I can't wait to read what happens next.

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  8. oh........that was soooooooooo sweet. He is afraid that another person in his life is going to abandon him......really you made me cry -don't know if its just the story or the stress for my exams or maybe both but you did- in a good way.....btw please write a lemon scene (it doesn't need to be their "wedding night" or bella giving doofus a blow job -which she hates- maybe an oral for bella??). I could add *ashamed*....but...well, i'm not. I just really want something lemonyyyyyy

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  9. "I know...I should have had oral in chapter 69. Sorry about that. ;)" Duh! I'm so dense, it took me a minute or two to get why you said that! I'm okay with no lemon yet. It'll be great once it's here. I think Edward is on to something when he talks about moving his legitimate business to be with her. He has the connections and the money to create a background for himself should Cop Daddy start checking. They could come up with a story about Edward being taken for ransom and them escaping together. Or the story could portray him as one of Aro's men that had a change of heart and thus saved her. You know, a bad guy gone good. It's the truth. They just need to tweak the details. If they tell Charlie they had to marry as part of the escape plan then maybe he'd be even more amendable. She IS over 18 and legally married now, right? I personally can't wait to see how it turns out.

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  10. I finally got power back at my house yesterday after all the storms that went through last week...I was going into withdrawl not getting to read....This is chapter and the others have been great I was so glad to get caught up. I love this Edward...I so want things to work out for him and Bella...looking forward to the next chapter.

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  11. I liked the chapter...that they are both communicating: although this "C"-word seems to totally confuse Edward. Bella's maturity is really something.

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  12. i really , really hope he can find a way.

    isnt that the best part about fictional characters and situations, even if the whole situation looks impossible to fix, you can always give them a HEA..

    thanks for the update.

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  13. Please Savage, throw the guy a bone. omg it's seriously heartbreaking hearing him try to figure things out, that he really has no idea about.

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  14. Yes, Chapter 69 just cried out for some oral... *sigh* Edward, you're doing some mighty deep thinking there. Maybe you WILL be able to come up with a way to get everything you want.

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  15. Glanced up and spied "DISQUS" but thought it said "DINGUS" and laughed my fucking ass off. "Doofy & Dingus". God I'm tired. Sorry.

    Wow, Bella. Obviously you are tired, too. Sending arrows stright through Doofy's heart, too. [sarcasam font] Nice work! [/sarcasm font]

    Doofy...you have her for a few more days, dude. I hurt for you that you thought one fight would make her run off. What type of skanks have you been dating?

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  16. LOL - oral in chap. 69 would have been too obvious. Besides Doofus got kissed again, and I bet he nor I thought it would happen again anytime soon, so I'm good. And you can always let Edward get a bit of relief in the shower ;-)
    I love that he is actually thinking about how he could be more eligible for Bella.

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  17. I feel bad for Edward right now. He is trying to figure this out. He wants to be with Bella after all this is over. She is so young though! Will be interesting to see what reaction Charlie has to all of this. Not good! LOL poor Dufus!

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  18. Ha ha ha, "should have had oral in chapter 69", no you shouldn't of had that. Bella said never again and Edward promised he would never ask for that and well who knows what other experiences she has had with oral from Aro and James et al. Let's just say oral is off the table until she reveals more of what happened to her. Just kidding... as were you I'm sure.

    Getting back to this chapter, I wonder was she mad also at what he said about her only having to put up with him for a couple more days? She seems to be saying she doesn't want to lose him. She also got mad at the fact that he thought that was funny - them going their separate ways and I was thinking the same as her when she said she was worried that they would want to kill her if they knew her dad was a Cop too, so yeah that wasn't funny - her fear - I mean. She was upset about not being able to call her parents too, which he has yet to fully explain to her.

    I really liked this chapter because it provided me with some clarity as to why she got mad at him... and I suppose mad at the circumstances. It also suggested to me that she is thinking of how she can hold onto him and also go home... which is what Eddie wants and what I want too for them. I also like that you had Bella clarify for him that she still wants him and that a fight does not mean the end of a relationship... not where she is concerned anyway. I really like how so many things got clearer for Edward and that he wants to try to figure out how to make things work. I love it that Edward is thinking about how he could become more respectable for Bella and for her parents. Love that twist. He really is a decent guy quite a lot of the time when it comes to Bella he is beginning to see right from wrong and not just to hold onto her but because he wants to do the right thing... like he doesn't want to keep Bella away from her parents anymore than he has already and he does not want her to sneak around to see him. Way to go Edward. He knows she comes from a loving family and does not want to deny her anything.

    If I could have my wish: Please have then talk more in the next chapter. Oh and I nearly forgot, I loved how strong Bella was in this chapter, taking charge, telling Edward to shower and hopefully brush his teeth and she will air out the room... she even appologised to him for overreacting before. Love a strong Bella and she is a champ. Love both of them so much. Thanks.

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  19. This is why I love you - I was so sad at the last chapter now you made me happy again! Yes it would have been Wonderful to have had 69 in chapter 69 but I will take what I can get. I love that he is thinking that there may be some hope for them!

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  20. You are so funny....Edward really is clueless, isnt he? He will wise up, right?

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  21. Man! Some monumental comments so far! I never doubt their ability for happy endings :)

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  22. Oral in 69.... so clever girl.... this,*",All the others did,” I said. “They all left.”* was one of the saddest lines ever..... and i hope he NEVER tells her he peed in the sink....lol

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  23. Yeah, that last plan of his is sort of along the lines of what I thought he could do to make it work. It still won't be easy. And that was a good point of Bella's—that she was afraid her new gangster friends might kill her if they found out about Cop Daddy.

    Not only has Edward not known how to love someone before Bella, but it seems his previous girlfriends didn't care enough to stick around through the thick and thin of a relationship either—leaving after just one fight. Not that any of those relationships were meant to be, though. Obviously they didn't work with his hang-ups.

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  24. Hey, they had their first real fight...and she does not hate him...and he did not say anything else stupid, so I think all in all it was a good day for Edward. I hope there is hope. Edward has connections. He could bring his legitimate business to Seattle, create a new identify for himself. The big trick will be coming up with a back story on how they met while she was "kidnapped and sold as a slave". I hope there is hope, because I feel love forming here, although with Edward it could be a long time before he really recognizes the truth of it. How exactly is she going to air the room out? I presume the windows do not open? Me and my paranoid self, the first thing I thought was she is going to open the door to the suite to air it out, and the stalker will have found them, and he would grab her. Well in that scenario it would be a really good thing that they have not disabled her chip yet. Not that I am hoping for that level of drama...that's just where my mind goes, you know?

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  25. Finally caught up...so bittersweet.

    I might have missed other reviews... But between school & drinking, isn't she just 17 & turning 18? That's going to rock his world...

    As for the hot topic: while I love lemons, I love a good story much more. I'm happy to see you putting your story first. Thanks!!

    Sea4Me

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  26. Loved it! and YES you should have had oral... although bella did state she would NEVER do that again... *sad face for edward* :(

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  27. Love, love, love this story!!!

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  28. this is all so new for e - someone who won't walk out on him. not sure how they are going to square this with charlie and renee

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  29. Oh, God! Is he going to enroll in HS with her and create a whole new identity or something!? LOL

    Love your insight into Cluelessward, and that Bella can see her errors along with his. For a second there I thought she'd panic that he was giving her a New Moon moment. His abandonment issues really are likely to be well neigh insurmountable. He's gonna have to do some serious work to not have them popping up more than his erections! ;D

    Love her! Starting to fear she could just let her parents think she's dead and stay with him. Don't know, love that you throw twists in there, even if it does have my inner perv weeping openly at the cockblocking. ;D Once they have sex the relationship becomes about sex and the emotional development stagnates until they conscioiusly address it again, and it's more difficult even then, after all. :D

    Thanks!!

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  30. awwhhh... love it. Finally, he may start to believe that not everyone will leave him. hmmmh... going legit? Could work, couldn;t it?

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  31. He is so sweet!!! But the possibilities of success for that plan are slim to none. At some point his criminal life will come back to haunt them.
    Anyway I want them to have their HEA.

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  32. you are soo funny an oral in chapter 69 i am still chuckling!!!!! i still don't see how it is going to work...but i will sit back and wait and read!! it will be alright right?

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  33. Yeah, like that'll {oral} ever happen again. I almost cried for Edward when I read that.;-{o}

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  34. austenbrontemeyerMay 3, 2011 at 5:53 PM

    Amazing how men think they are entitled to pee anywhere.

    Loved the 6 9 reference. *snickers*

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  35. Bahaha!!! He peed in the sink! Doofus, you're childish and immature and soo broken. I love you and hate you and you deserve a slap sometimes for over thinking!

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  36. Was that one of your longest chapters? It was certainly a good one! E. peeing in the sink was typical, but I'm glad he didn't tell her. He's trying so hard to figure this relationship, and Bella out! He just has no experience with a proper relationship, so he doesn't know what to do! I love that he is willing to change in order to be with her. I think I said that early on....glad it looks like it may happen?
    I love Doofus....

    xoSus

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  37. Oh no! Here went our TeamDeadCharlie! :( Now what? identity change? Poor Edward, his anticipation of everyone in his life leaving him just breaks my heart every time...

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  38. Edwards EternalMay 3, 2011 at 6:40 PM

    Hmmm is there hope ? At times I think there is somwhow they will work it out and then other times I am just not sure. Surely he could "buy" a past and put it in place and make a new life for himself and Bella . If she leaves him it will break him I think. I don't know. How will this end... what will happen... I am really quite confused and worried now.

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  39. I'm not sure how B got the nerve to slap him! She went from terrified to kicking ass fairly quickly - I don't think E is safe from B or Charlie. But then again he is proving to be his own worse enemy, being a Doofus and all. Kudos for 69!

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  40. Savage... I love you ! Your amazing ! Poor Doofus :) What are we gonne do with him ? By the way, I really love your new site and it's easier to give you a review. Thanks for all your improvements !

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  41. Oral in ch 69? ROTFLMAO!!!


    I watched her walk over to the little vanity with her hairbrush in hand.  I thought about telling her I ended up having to pee in the sink when she wouldn’t come out, but figured that course of action probably wasn’t any better than the acquisition of smokes.  I didn’t want her to be even madder at me, though I didn’t know what difference it was going to make now.

    Again. LMAO

    I guess the CID/charlie is dead theory has been put to bed. But it was a good one.

    Roshambo

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  42. Awww...he's finally beginning to realize that he wants her. He's willing to move and change his life for her.
    I'm glad that Bella explained some of the simple happenings of a relationship. He needs to know these things.

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  43. I don't know how you make emotionally retarded Edward so attractive but you do...
    One thing I don't understand still is why did they have to get legally married sinse they all the fake documents?

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  44. Wow Edward is so screwed up.....Bella is the one that going to be leading this all the way and teaching him. Way cool.

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  45. Poor thing! *sniff*
    I hope they find a way to make things work between them.

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  46. Watching Edward bounce back and forth is like watching a tennis match. Is Bella 18 or 17? Not that it matters all that much but Charlie might think it does. All that crossing/kidnapping (even though she went willingly...you know how people manipulate the law) state lines and countries and all with a minor. Just a stray thought rumbling around in my head.

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  47. Well I don't know about a 69 in chapter 69. Didn't Bella say she wasn't ever going to do that again a few chapters back? Or did I misinterpret what she was talking about. I do hope she changes her mind on that because Edwards Peen is something that should be tasted. LOL
    Edward could always have fake paper trail made up to fool CHarlie. He would need a new last name I guess. They also forgot about how Charlie will react to Bella being married or will she keep that tid bit under wraps. I guess these 2 need to sit down and discuss what story they are going to tell her parents to explain what happened.

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  48. Wow. The dude is ready to give everything up in the name of Bella. I wuv him.

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  49. bwahahaha... yessss... you should have.... #h00rsthinkalike ... lol, I swear that's the 1st thing I thought when I saw ... ch.69 ... TY bb... sweet Doofus.. poor Bella!

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  50. I was certain that her crying/slapping reaction was due to Daddy Swan being 6 ft under. I guess TDC is a moot now, eh? :/

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  51. I actually had the idea that maybe Charlie had lung cancer from smoking and that's why she was so adamant about Edward quitting. I guess she just really hates the smell of smoke. lol Poor Edward is sooo confused by her reactions to everything compared to past experiences. He doesn't know which end is up. I wonder if Bella got into some trouble and got expelled and that's why she's a year behind or maybe she had cancer and had to miss alot of school so she's a year behind and hates him smoking. Guess we'll wait and see...

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  52. with you, there is always hope! :) as always, sooo curious how you plan to woo us into being okay with them.

    love,

    green grasshopper

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  53. awww i'm so glad they made up and edward is learning so well. i think he's doing such a good job. it's so good that bella still wants to see him when she back with her parents! and of course edward is trying to figure out a way he can come clean and be legit and keep seeing bella....soooo sweet i hope that would be the case!! thoroughly enjoyed that chapter but yeah oral would have just put the icing on the cake!! being chapter 69!lol! love it!

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  54. Poor guy...he really doesn't know anything about relationships or about love for that matter, does he? He was just so convinced that after a fight, whoever she is just leaves, 'cause that's life; this thought of his was both funny and sad.
    But Bella's teaching him that couples can fight and not separate and they are a couple, even if he doesn't dare to think of them this way yet. But his future plans tell me he wants to be with her more than anything in the world. He's even willing to leave behind his life as a crime lord...there's definitely hope for them! :)

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  55. I think if Edward starts his life clean it will be a really great manifestation of his feelings and how much he changed. Hope this will happen...

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  56. omgggg .. he's up to anything just to be with her .. isn't he sweet .. he's amazing
    he's just a lonly child inside ..
    my heart is breaking for him and u almost made me cry
    u gotta make hope for them .. this HAS to have a HEA
    sigh
    awesome chapter

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  57. oh lord! she really wants to try this with her parents! crazy bella1

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  58. Denise_norris10May 4, 2011 at 8:27 AM

    I'm really feeling for this Edward now. All his life people have left him alone, I hope that somehow Bella can be there for him and show him how to love and care for someone although I don't know how you'd manage that!

    I'm still loving this story!

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  59. "Fights lead to being left – that was just how it worked." - I guess in his relationships Edward avoided fights at all cost, agreed with everything and thought that if there weren't fights, things were OK. He did the things, which he knew that he had to do (opened doors, bought presents). When he knew what was needed from him, he complied. I guess he failed with his girlfriends, because he not only didn't care about them, but also he didn't pay enough attention to them and didn't show interest to learn more about them. He probably didn't share anything about himself either, and they didn't feel close with him at all. I suppose they thought that he was with them only for the sex, which was true in a way. Though Edward had serious reasons to be the way he was, at the same time he just did what was easy for him and didn't try even to understand what his girlfriends were mad about. He didn't try to do anything about his problems until Bella.

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  60. I really like that he's taking it for granted all the changes he's willing to make to be with her. I only wish he would start speaking those words...

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  61. "You had a fight, and then she walked out. That was life"..............Thats all he's evr known........Sooo fcukin sad. Poor ting, Eddie!!!! He really is considering givin up evryting 4 this girl huh??? If Bells hasnt fallen for him, den i for one has.....yea he has his lil fcuked up moments, who doesnt??? but he's tryin......i really hope Bells can wrk sumtin out 4 him ya kno. be there 4 him like no othr woman has evr been. He got her into this serious piece of mess but it really counts dat he's done evryting in his power 2 ease it up a lil rite??? cuz dere's absolutely no way to fix this mess. Bella's scarred for the rest of her life & she stil cares 4 him......she has a swell heart!!!!!!

    Sheeeeeeeeeeesh, evn his teacher left him....now dats gotta b crazy rite???Hope things wrk well for them both, they've been thru ALOTTT!!!!!

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  62. Edward is really coming around isn't he. 

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  63. Sheesh, who didn't apologize repeatedly this chapter.  o.0

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  64. Ummm, I'm still shocked by the year of high school left! And lets not forget the 10 year age difference! I can't believe he wont let himself say love.. Even in his own mind.. Sigh.. LOVE THEM! :)

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  65. He's trying bless him!! Still a bloody spaztard though lol x

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  66. Edward is actually starting to process his feelings of love and find hope.

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  67. Oral in ch 69? ROTFLMAO!!!


    I watched her walk over to the little vanity with her hairbrush in hand.  I thought about telling her I ended up having to pee in the sink when she wouldn’t come out, but figured that course of action probably wasn’t any better than the acquisition of smokes.  I didn’t want her to be even madder at me, though I didn’t know what difference it was going to make now.

    Again. LMAO

    I guess the CID/charlie is dead theory has been put to bed. But it was a good one.

    Roshambo

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  68. Man! Some monumental comments so far! I never doubt their ability for happy endings :)

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  69. I feel bad for Edward right now. He is trying to figure this out. He wants to be with Bella after all this is over. She is so young though! Will be interesting to see what reaction Charlie has to all of this. Not good! LOL poor Dufus!

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  70. Darn no oral... Lol i'm hoping that there is hope for these two. Then again maybe it's a little perverted that he's almost 30

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