CBWR? Chapter 65

Authors’ notes:

This chapter is all the fault of your twitter people encouraging me to do stuff I shouldn’t.  You know who you are.  It probably ought to have been beta’d.  I’ll fix it tomorrow.

 I knew it wasn’t right.

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Chapter 65:

Bella was still pretty groggy when we got to Paris.  I half walked/half carried her into the lobby and sat her down in an overstuffed chair while I checked in.  The hotel I had chosen was just down the street from the Eiffel Tower.  I remembered how she had looked at it when we were here before, and I asked for a room with a good view of it.  At first, the lady at the desk tried to discourage me – those rooms were expensive.  Once I set her straight on that deal by handing her my shiny black credit card, we got the pick of the entire hotel.

When we walked into the room, Bella was instantly awake.

The hotel had an odd, triangular shape to it – very modern for the rest of the area we were in.  Our room was on one on the angles, and as you walked in, the suite doors opened into the bedroom, which was two whole walls of glass, meeting at an angle on the far side.  The bed was in the center, and the lights of Paris were shining through the windows and making the whole room glow with light.

The view of the tower was nothing short of spectacular.

Bella went to the window and looked out at the giant landmark with the light from the setting sun making it glow in the distance.  I ran my hand through my hair and just watched her as she marveled over it.  She turned back to me and her eyes were glowing.  My heart started to beat faster, which was really starting to make me wonder if I didn’t need a complete physical once all this was over.

“It’s beautiful,” Bella said.  She walked back over to me and tossed her arms casually around my neck.  It felt…weird.  Good weird.  Like they were supposed to be there, but since nothing else was ever supposed to be there before…well, I didn’t understand it, but I liked it.

I put my arms around her waist and gave me a half smile.  I tried not to focus on her lips too much, though I really did want to kiss her again.  I was also kind of wondering if she hadn’t wised up on the trip over here, and would maybe tell me she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.

Actually, I kind of waited for her to tell me that about every thirty seconds or so. 

Maybe she wouldn’t say anything.   Maybe I’d just come back from getting ice or something and she just wouldn’t be here anymore.  For some reason, I remembered my mother fiddling around with the rabbit ears on top of the television in the trailer the day I went to school in the morning, and when I came back that afternoon she gone.  She didn’t say anything to me as I got my book bag and walked to the bus stop, but I remembered her yelling at the TV.  It was the last time I saw her.

“Why do you look so sad?” Bella suddenly asked. 

“I’m not,” I replied.

“What were you thinking about?”

“Um…my mom, I guess,” I said with a shrug.

“What about her?”

“Nothing, really.”

That answer apparently wasn’t good enough, because she kept on me until I told her more.

“I was just thinking about the day they left,” I finally admitted.

“Why?” Bella asked.  “What did she say?”

“Nothing,” I told her.  “She was trying to get the TV to work.  She didn’t say anything to me.”

“Did you ever see her again?”  Bella’s eyes had narrowed and her brow was all furrowed up.  She looked like she was upset, and I didn’t want her feeling that way.  Not about me.  It just wasn’t worth it.

“I didn’t have to share the TV all afternoon,” I said with a smile.  Bella did not return the smile, but instead, her hand reached up and brushed over my cheek.

“There was something wrong with her, Edward,” Bella said softly.  “Not you.  You were just a kid.  Moms aren’t’ supposed to be like that.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t say anything.  I never really noticed anything wrong with her.  It was just a shit situation – we didn’t have any money or anything, so she did what she could, I guess.   That’s why I started running guns in the first place – the money was fucking incredible.  It still was.

I kind of wondered if I had gotten a job before they left and brought in some money…well...maybe they wouldn’t have gone.

Bella’s eyes dropped down to my lips, and a moment later she had risen up on her toes to reach me.  I let her tongue run over mine as my hand ran up her back, holding her close to me.  We stood there for a moment, just kissing gently and holding each other.  It was strange, like Bella throwing her arms around me was strange.  I had just never done something like this – just kissed.  I never would have even considered it before.

Before her.

Her arms slid down to my shoulders and she pulled at me until her she sat back on the bed.  She looked up at me and smiled the most incredible smile I had ever seen.  It was beautiful, and sexy, and lovely, and just…just…joyous.

I crawled into the bed after her, crawling up her body as she lay backwards on the bed.  My mouth found hers again, and she tangled her fingers in my hair and pulled me close to her. 

I knew it wasn’t right.

I knew it wasn’t good.

But I really, really wanted it, right?

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Chapter end notes:

Thanks to all the tweet peeps who reminded me the word I wanted was LANDMARK.  I appreciate that.

Why does Edward in this always make me think of the Nine Inch Nails Song “Kinda I Want To”?