Sunday, April 24, 2011

CBWR? Chapter 54

Author's notes:
Everyone's off playing with Easter toys and eating chocolate, so I had a bit more time.  Here ya go!
“Quit smoking,” she said.  “Right now.”
Chapter 54
Bella started putting together her puzzle on the little table in the kitchen while I took a quick shower.  The warm spray relaxed the muscles in the backs of my legs, which hadn’t had near enough use lately and were aching after the long trek up the hill to Neuschwanstein. 
In the small house, even with the water on I could hear Bella in the kitchen.  I heard the refrigerator door open and I thought about when she might be pulling out to eat or drink.  Maybe she was thinking about making diner or something.  Thoughts of Bella floated around inside of me as I washed, and I felt the constant urge to jerk off.
I resisted the desire, which wasn’t difficult.  I never liked doing it on my own in the first place, and now it just seemed…well…even worse.  Every time I even considered taking it in my hand, I couldn’t only see images of Bella in my head.  As soon as I saw those, thoughts of the basement when she had been kept and what they did with her to train her to my liking pretty much killed the mood.
When I tried to think of other women – either ones I had dated before or even some freaking model or movie star – well…nothing happened.   If I wasn’t thinking about Bella, apparently my body wasn’t interested. 
I kind of wondered if I’d ever want to fuck anyone again.
Wrapping a towel around my waist, I made the quick jaunt between the bathroom and the bedroom.  I could smell something really scrumptious coming from the kitchen, and didn’t want to waste any time figuring out what it was.  I pulled some lounge pants on, but didn’t bother with a shirt or anything.  It was still pretty warm and humid, though the nights had cooled off a lot.  I grabbed a hand towel to rub over my hair, but the rest of me was still pretty wet as I walked back out and into the kitchen.
Bella was stirring something around in a big skillet, and kept adding bits of vegetables and sauce to it.  It would crackle and hiss, and she would stir it around some more.
“What are you making?” I asked.
Bella turned slightly and her mouth opened just a bit, but she didn’t say anything.  Her eyes widened a bit, and I wondered what could be so shocking about my question.  My hair fell all over my forehead – it was really getting way too long – as I stopped trying to dry it and wiped a few drops from my chest instead.
“Pad Thai,” Bella finally said.  Her tongue ran over her lips quickly as her eyes dropped, and then she looked back to the pan.
“Cool,” I said.  I honestly never considered that you could make something like that outside of an actual Thai restaurant, but she seemed to know what she was doing.  Everything she made was fucking awesome.  Going back to delivered pizza and Chinese carry out was going to suck.
“This is fucking awesome,” I told her when I slurped up the last of what was on my plate.  “Is there more?”
“Well, there are the ingredients for more,” Bella said.  “I didn’t cool any more though.”
“Would you?” I asked, trying to give her something like puppy dogs eyes.  She laughed at me, which was almost as awesome as the Asian noodle dish.
“I have to pretty much start all over again!” she complained, but she really didn’t seem to be upset.
“Please?”  I asked.  I leaned closer to her and looked up into her eyes.  “Purdy please?”
Bella pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at me.  She seemed to be thinking it over.  Finally, she spoke.
“All right, but only on one condition.”
“Anything.”  Okay – I knew that was a stupid thing to say, but I was going to have to go with it at that point.
“No more cigarettes.”
“What?”
“Quit smoking,” she said.  “Right now.”
“No fucking way,” I said.  I wasn’t sure if she was being serious or not, but just the very mention of quitting had me jonesing for one.
“No fucking Pad Thai,” she said.  She raised her brows at me in challenge.
“None?”
“Nope.”
“Not even a little?” I asked.  I pointed over to the stovetop in the kitchen, and when Bella glanced that way I grabbed one of the noodles off her plate.  She looked back, catching me as I shoved it into my mouth.  She glared at me.
“Not even any more of mine.”  She pulled her plate in closer and wrapped her forearms around it protectively. 
I sat back and thought about my options.  The Pad Thai was freaking awesome, and I did want more.  I also knew there was no way I was going to quit smoking – not today at least.  Maybe a compromise would work
“What could I get for no more smokes today?” I asked.
“Hmm,” Bella hummed and tapped her finger on her chin.  “A small portion, I guess.”
“Deal,” I said with a smirk.  At least I was getting something out of this.  I still wanted a smoke, though.
I ate my second, smaller helping and watched the sun go down out the patio door.  Usually I’d be sitting out there having a cigarette while Bella was doing the dishes or something.  I sighed, and decided to help her wash up to keep my mind off of it.  She looked a little surprised when I offered to dry.  I guess I really hadn’t helped before.
“Sorry,” I said as I took one of the plates and wiped it with a towel.  “I haven’t been much help, have I?”
“It’s okay,” she responded. 
I wondered if I should say more, but figured that was a mistake, so I kept quiet.
“Did you have chores to do as a kid?” Bella asked.
“No.”
“Did your mom do everything for you?”
I laughed a bit.
“Um…not really,” I said.  I shrugged and placed the last plate back in the cabinet and started drying a glass.
“But your dad wasn’t home much, right?”
“Right.”
“Who did it then?”
“Did what?” I asked.
“Things like this.”  Bella held up a soap suds covered bowl.  “Who washed the dished and vacuumed and cleaned the sinks and stuff?”
I tried to remember my mom doing any of those things, and couldn’t really remember much.  I remembered using the same plate lots of times in a row, and I think sometimes she would wash it.  I didn’t remember ever seeing a vacuum cleaner.  I remembered the trashcan in the kitchen, and how the brown bottles would fall out of it onto the floor and make everything sticky.  I looked at Bella and shrugged again.
“I guess my mom did,” I finally said.  “Sometimes.”
Bella’s eyes locked with mine, and for the longest time she just stood there with the soapy bowl in her hands and looked at me.  She did that sometimes, and I never understood why.  I would have questioned her on it, but…well…I tried not to say much.  It seemed to be working out pretty well.
Eventually she looked back to her hands and we finished the dishes without any other words.  It was weird – but I kind of liked helping her wash them.  I’d never really done that before.  I had some dishes at my place, but usually used paper.  Cups and forks and everything else went in the dishwasher.
That night, I was sitting up in bed with my back against eh headboard and reading a couple emails from Angela.  She was asking if my “extended vacation” was going to conclude in time for the meeting with New Moon Technical Resources, or should she have someone else take care of it.  I answered that one and a few others as Bella settled into the spot beside me.  She propped her pillow up so she was sitting as well.
I looked over to her and gave her a half smile, which she didn’t quite return.
“Edward, can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” I said.  I laced the phone down on the nightstand.
“Do you understand what you did to me?”
My chest and throat tightened up, and I couldn’t really breathe correctly.  This was not a conversation I wanted to have.  There was no way I could possibly say anything that wouldn’t make it all worse, but she had asked, and I felt like I had to answer her.
Honestly was the best policy, right?

Chapter End Notes:
Oh, Doofus - what are you going to say to her now?
I love Pad Thai.

61 comments:

  1. Loved it very much and she is pulling out the big questions lets see if E will answer with truth or lies.....

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  2. I'm wondering if Bella is really seeing Edward...and his upbringing...and how it may have shaped him.

    Which doesn't make it GOOD, but does explain some things...AND he really is trying to fix what he did.

    That counts...

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  3. :( stop being mean to my wee edward bella:P starting not to like you! great chapter hope he do not go down hill if/when she goes feel he gone to lose it a little when she goes!weekitty

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  4. MMMM I wonder if Bella is really asking the question Edward thinks she is. Is she trying to explain her feelings for Edward or is she actually talking about why she was taken? I wonder because of her reaction to him with his shirt off after his shower. Can't wait to find out what his response is. Happy Easter!....Karen

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  5. Doofusward needs to be honest and tell her the truth. Then she needs to do the same for him too. She might be the first person to do so. I can't wait for more ;)

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  6. I'm dying to know the answer that Edward will give to that question.
    Thanks for the chapter.

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  7. Yes, honesty is the best policy but I'm already cringing at the thought of what he might say LOL Oh well, she did ask...

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  8. I love it. How will Edward answer Bella's question? I can't wait for the next chapter! : )

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  9. Can't wait to read his answer.
    I think he is f*ed.

    Thanks for updating

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  10. I want to read Edward's answer and their conversation about it very much. I am trying to guess why she asked him. He has done her so much wrong,and now he has changed and helps her, so she probably wants to know what has made him change, what he really thinks and how he feels about what he has done. Or maybe she wants him to know exactly what he is guilty of and to take the responsibility.

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  11. oh boy...cant wait to see how he answers that one...I don't think she is asking him what he is thinking...hmm just a hunch

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  12. wow... A second post!! What a nice Easter gift... Guessing she is wanting to see if he understands the ramifications of what he had/has done. How many lives his selfishness affected.

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  13. I fucking love Pad Thai, too!

    Now I'm hungry. Balls.

    I really liked reading about how the normal domesticity appealed to Doofy. It was sweet but sad because it was his first time experiencing that type of stuff.

    I am anxious to see how he answers her question and her reaction to his answer.

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  14. You are making my day!! I can't wait to see how Edward responds. I believe that Bella understands why his mind is so warped and has an idea why he "bought" her. So that someone wouldn't leave him and he wouldn't be all alone. I think she is trying to see if he understands it. I feel so sad for Edward.

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  15. I hope he understands what he did and is able to tell her that, because I think that is the only way she can forgive him. Is she asking to decide to turn him in when this is over or to lie for him so he doesn't go to prison? It's still hard to see how they could be together at the end of all this. Even if she can forgive him, will she still resent him?

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  16. Wow, what a loaded question. I think Bella is starting to piece together just how neglected/abandoned Edward was and she's trying to figure him out versus just hating him and turning him in. She probably heard from Alice and Rose how this is a side of Edward that they have never seen. Bella is also figuring out that it wasn't just about sex. He wanted someone to take care of him that didn't have the option of leaving him. Yeah, Bella is definitely warring with her emotions. She knows deep down that if Edward had a better upbringing he would not have made the decisions he made, nor would he be the person that he is. She sees he could be a better person and most likely will feel like she is abandoning him if she goes home to stay. Also, she is finding herself attracted to him even though he is clueless to her responses. I think Bella just really wants to know if he understands how this has made her feel, not just what it did to her physically. If she stayed with him, she would have to walk a fine line between "taking care" of him and being his "mother". Gah, poor everybody. :(

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  17. Honesty IS the best policy. You know, even if you don't get the girl out of all this, you will have at least gotten a little piece of your humanity back. Which might be more than you deserve.

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  18. Is it wrong if I want to hug him?

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  19. Oh Doofusward.. my heart breaks for him.. he needs to be honest.. *sighs*.. I hope B puts herself in his shoes and appreciates what he has done for her.. =)

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  20. That's the million dollar question. Great chapter, it really is sad learning about his childhood. I think it's even worse that he has no idea of what he missed since he still doens't have anyone who cares anything about him...except Bella. Thanks Savage.

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  21. I love how comfortable they are around each other. And Bella is a smart girl for making that deal with Edward about smoking - I bet she could make that kind deal over and over again. I guess now it's time to have the tough discussion - they have to get that elephant out of the room, if they want to move on.

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  22. I love the way she confuses him with her looks and questions.

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  23. i want to hug this edward and make him feel better.

    because i know exactly what this feels like...

    -I kind of wondered if I’d ever want to fuck anyone again.-


    ...and it sucks.

    he may think is guilt, o acid reflux, but i know it not.


    i really hope there is a HEA/sort of, for this two.
    ;)

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  24. was wondering when b was going to confront him
    tff000

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  25. So Bella noticed the "boy" is goodlooking after his shower, eh? Well its about time. I know, I know she had to notice before, right? I hope Edward starts talking to Bella, I feel she doesn't really know him and he is falling for her. She asked if he knew what buying her did to her... I bet she has no idea what buying her did to him. I really hope they get to know each other and how what happened changed both of them.
    RoryCullen

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  26. Uh oh Edward is in for it now, cant wait to see how he responds to that one :)

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  27. oh edward. he really doesn't understand people. she was so checking him out!

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  28. Have you tried pad-see-ew??? Flippin' delicious!

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  29. Bella is a good person. Actually it feels like she's good beyond words...The hell this guy put her through, and she cares about him enough to want to make him stop smoking. She also cares about how his neglectful parents turned him into an emotionally stunted person.
    What's he going to tell her now?

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  30. Pad Thai- def one of my fave dishes.

    I do think he is aware of the shit storm he started. But maybe he needs a refresher?

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  31. Dammit! Now I want Pad Thai for breakfast! Man that sounds good with that sauces and the nuts and yummy noodles....

    Well this chapter was all nice like. I knew you were setting us up. Can't be all kittens and rainbows can it? And yes doofus honesty is best but there is a certain thing about discretion lol

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  32. Poor Doofusward! He has certainly met his match in Bella! *runs to next chapter*

    Keye

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  33. Yep, time to really tell her, Doofus...
    This ought to be interesting...

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  34. Finally!!!! It won't be easy, simple, fast or pain free, but it had to come. Bella won't enjoy it much either, It had to take lots of courage to ask him. But she needs to know and he needs to say it. What then?... no clue...

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  35. Uh oh! It's "The Talk" time!

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  36. Was waiting for that question. Believe the answer would be not until after I did bc I was too busy thinking with my dick

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  37. Oh, damn! I can't wait to hear this one. I think his answer will reveal a portion of the horror, but none of the humanity since he never had the love of a family and the kind of innoncence that is protected in that environment. I think Bella already knows this and has largely forgiven him because she feels sorry for him. But I'm glad she's asking him and I think this conversation will be much more enlightening for him than her.

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  38. Oh boy, serious talk time now...

    Stephanie

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  39. omg they are soooo cute together with their playfulness! now edward has rather a difficult question to answer and yes edward my hottie...honesty is definitely the best policy!lol! he's so damn cute!

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  40. i hope you have a good answer for her i think i is the hinge to a lot of what bella is feeling and thinking about you ed!!

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  41. omg they are soooo cute together with their playfulness! now edward has rather a difficult question to answer and yes edward my hottie...honesty is definitely the best policy!lol! he's so damn cute!

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  42. was wondering when b was going to confront him
    tff000

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  43. That's the million dollar question. Great chapter, it really is sad learning about his childhood. I think it's even worse that he has no idea of what he missed since he still doens't have anyone who cares anything about him...except Bella. Thanks Savage.

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  44. oh edward. he really doesn't understand people. she was so checking him out!

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  45. illicit smoochiesApril 29, 2011 at 5:56 PM

    I hope he understands what he did and is able to tell her that, because I think that is the only way she can forgive him. Is she asking to decide to turn him in when this is over or to lie for him so he doesn't go to prison? It's still hard to see how they could be together at the end of all this. Even if she can forgive him, will she still resent him?

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  46. I want to read Edward's answer and their conversation about it very much. I am trying to guess why she asked him. He has done her so much wrong,and now he has changed and helps her, so she probably wants to know what has made him change, what he really thinks and how he feels about what he has done. Or maybe she wants him to know exactly what he is guilty of and to take the responsibility.

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  47. I'm dying to know the answer that Edward will give to that question.
    Thanks for the chapter.

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  48. I'm wondering if Bella is really seeing Edward...and his upbringing...and how it may have shaped him.

    Which doesn't make it GOOD, but does explain some things...AND he really is trying to fix what he did.

    That counts...

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  49. loved:
    I kind of wondered if I’d ever want to fuck anyone again.
    I wondered if I should say more, but figured that was a mistake, so I kept quiet.

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  50. So fun. Can't believe the handholding (last chap) happened w/o a fuss...what did the two of them think??

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  51.  i love her reaction when she saw him comin out of the bedroom, bareback with the wet frame!!!!!! hahaaaaaaaa, wile i was readin jus picturin Rob in that way made me drool. i probably looked evn more foolish dan bella did........lol


    DouchWard, ur screwed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lets see wat genuis idea pops into dat *magnified x10000000* brain of urs wud cum up wit!!!!!!!!!! hahaaaaaaaaaa.i dont believe she'll hate u but dis isnt gunna b fun or easy....i mean no part of this was anyway!!!!

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  52. A wet Robward *drools* Oh sorry, what was I doing... This should be interesting conversation coming up.

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  53. I would've messed up that Pad Thai if Edward walked into the kitchen half naked. 

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  54. Oh bugger!!! I thunk she'll surprise him x

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  55. i think she likes him and she wants to help

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  56. Love pad Thai too. Can't wait to hear Edward's response.

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